in d mood to blog

so! its 22 more days to first paper! hmm.. count it as 21! first paper on the 11th May, i suppose. cuz its not yet confirmed since we still haven't received the exam timetable from the UOL side.
i hope they will postpone it somehow.. but i just wanna get this over and done with! i cant wait for everything to finish, really! =)

I am happy now cuz, i just read my Bestie blog! and believe it or not! its the first smile i have on my face for this whole day! =DDD
she finally found a job! =)) happy for her! and she said, it's something she like and love to do! so i am really happy for her! I am really happy to see people landing in the job they love to be in. its like, living your life to the fullest! and that's what life is about. how many of you know of people who loves what they are doing? more often than not, they are doing it for the sake of doing it. and sad to say, really, in this environment i am in, most of the people i know are doing things for the sake f doing it, including yours truly :)

oh wells, yeah.. i cant wait for exam to be over, and i REALLY really pray hard, i really hope i will land in a job i love doing. and not doing any other thing i don't like. wish me luck, pray for me. lets pray for the better together. =)

and i wanna be healthy, and toned and look good, inside out! =)
its my 2011 resolution! haha! talking about resolution when we are already halfway through the year! but yes! it's my 2011 resolution!
i want that toned body man! =) so these girls from Tone it Up are really great gals!
here's their link! -----> http://toneitup.com/blog/
great workout! and great recipes! i'm gonna try them out when i get back home. I don't really get to cook here.. so yeahh! recipes will be tried later at home in Indonesia!

and i have stayed away from fast foods, sodas, potato chips and sweets the past few weeks! =D
and next im gonna try to stay away from deep fried food! and processed food and everything not natural! =D
it's all about getting that healthy body! =))

so next, i really want to set a goal for myself:

1) study and make use of every single free time i have to study and revise for finals! its the last lap. i just have to do it. like it or not, it's my first degree! my first cert! i just have to make it look good and do everything i can to make sure i do my best and do everything i can, to reach that goal =)

2) exercise and work out everyday! just needed to sweat it all out and feel really good after! =D

3) take the stairs up and down whenever i go out and come back to my room =D

4) walk instead of taking the bus! unless its during rainy days! =)

5) try to be positive and be happy and to just stay positive and just be really happy and in good mood everyday, even during PMS days! =D

6) work towards my dream =)

7) stop being a cry baby! =)))

alright! that's about it! =)

gonna go continue fighting war!

lets work and live to a better tomorrow! =))

p/s: I really miss my Bestie girl! when i have enough money, i am definitely going to visit her and her home in Aussie!

the next time i blog, it will be when exam is officially DONE!! =D

I honestly need more positive energy around me. It's all making me suffocated.
I have this urge to go downstairs for a run now. It's 11:39pm. Kind of random, kind of silly, I know. But I really feel like going out for a run or just go ride d bike. Let the wind blow through and blow all the weights away.

I know whenever I have my period days before and days after and during. I most probably will have pms. I get agitated easily. I get depressed real easy too. But what's worst it's always during this time that I have to feel this and feel that other stuffs.
The feeling kind of sucks. I always cry. I cry almost everyday during my period. Cuz I just feel like breaking down. Its all weighing me down. Really. I cannot take it anymore.

I haven't even go for exams. Haven't even get back results. And what I need to do now is to did job send resume. Think of what job I'll be in, in future. Seriously, what the hell. I life really all about studying, and working and earning money?! Seriously FML!
I hate this so much. I am always the one in the family who needs to do well in this, do well in that. I am always the one who needs to make them proud, blablabla.

Can someone please at least ask me what is it do I really want?
Oh wells, yeahs ask also no use. Cuz it won't happen, it will not happen. Cuz I don't have the money. So suck thumb. Shut up and go find a proper job. Get an income.
All my life what I hated most is being compared to someone else. Damn! Dun tell me how much es earning per mth, bla bla bla. I don't give a damn. It's not as if he is going to give me a certain percentage of his income. They r not going to, so y bother. And I am definitely not the type who will ask people for help, especially asking for someone I am not close with for help. Damn! I wouldn't want a certain so and so to contact me only when he/he needs my help also! So I really won't do the same to others!

Exams nearing. I don't know what the hell am I doing. I feel like ending my life. I seriously feel like doing this. I am so sick of this life. And I am so sick of my life. Shut the he'll up if u don't know anything. Cuz u r not me. U don't know what I am going through. So just shut up. U'll be doing everyone a great favor.

I'm so not going to msia anymore! Seriously that damn thief!!! Who stole my Dad's briefcase which has all the money he needs for medication and doc consultation, his passport, his clothes and everything. Seriously, why would anyone steal? Go and work and earn the damn money. You have the pair of hands and the pair of legs to steal and run away, why can't u freaking get a job that wil enable u to earn all that money?!?!?!

Told u money is the root of all evil and all unhappiness. It's the exact same root to all my problems, unhappiness & everything.

As always, life sucks.

38 days

as the days are getting nearer. of course i am getting more n more scared, obviously. and everyday i am just trying to squeeze in any tiny timing to revise sth. yeahs, it was difficult.

also in the preparation to make my resume. its actually done. to be honest, i really cannot be bothered with job finding. if its not because i have to get a job and pay my debts. i really cant be bothered. if i dont have to pay off debts, i really would pack up everything and leave sg for good once i finish exams. and then go back home to do sth i like. learn some skills for myself. making my own clothes sounds good! =D or be a cake decorator sounds okay too. lol. but maybe i prefer making clothes. learning from scratch! or maybe i would go learn a new language. =D

and laziness really got me. I didn't go to meet mad, mel, shawn n mervin on friday, because. i was partly, lazy plus i really wasnt in the mood to. i've been really down with stress. i am really very stressed up. sometimes i really dont want to do anything. i just want to sit in my room, do my readings or just, sleep. or just study. i just don't want to go out. I don't even want to meet Stanley. cuz i was lazy and not in the mood to. so i only meet him up when i have no dinner or when i end school late, and he picks me up. so its basically, i won't purposely go out and meet him for no specific reason.

gona send in one resume today. for Cathay Pacific. hopefully i will be granted an interview. if i get in, i will be relocated to Hong Kong. SO, i will be staying in Hong Kong instead. All alone again. not a good idea, but i will embrace the change, since i don't really like being in sg anyway. so yeah, it doesn't matter where i go. i'll be fine.. who knows i will experience a whole new world and a good change hopefully. =D

and i am kind of anti social lately. i just dont wana talk to anyone or be in contact with anyone. hated this uncertainty.

oh wells, 12:45pm now. sent resume. checked mail. so got to shut this down and go get the books. yups.

hopefully days after exam will be a whole new change and i will be in for a better life. =)