i have asked myself again and again for many times now.
during the 13 years that i have been in here, away from home.. have i been really really happy before?
i know this will be a very selfish answer.
but yes, the answer is no.
cuz i have not really done what i want to do.
I haven't made my dreams happen.
now that i am so close to the next interview of the dream job i really wanted.
i have to think of the consequences.
the consequences of losing both and having to rot at home.
but i dont want to just rot at home. i need to work.
i need to earn money so that i can freaking pay off debts and save up and start a business of my own.
then again, who knows what will happen next?
Maybe i will get through the interview, and then MOM will approve my Work pass and then i will be able to get on with life and do the job i want.
Maybe. it's always not definite and i freaking hate it.
I honestly so sick of this life.
But i have learned not to curse myself and getting my own life shorten. Cuz it's really true, be careful what we wish for. Sometimes, they come true when you least expect it.
But for now. all i want is to see some light... to tell me that life will get better, at least for me.
I am already 24 going on 25 soon. I am sick of leading this uncertainty every single day.
From school days, to university to the current, working life.
tell me how long i need to hang on, sometimes i wish i can predict the future.
I wish i have the ability to see whats in the future for me.
Now I am stuck in a job I really dislike and I can't leave, till I get PR, when life, supposedly will become better?
HOPEFULLY.
