LAST DAY

FINALLY, its the last day of the year!
FINALLY!
to sum up, 2009 isn't a good year for me.
Almost everything doesn't go my way.
AND even on the last day, I just have to make it worst by failing my driving test! ='(
Sometimes I really couldnt stand myself.
Darn! I just have to be sooo worried, anxious, nervous on EVERY single exam I have.
wth!
I made NO mistakes at all throughout my all the lesson in the circuit and today I just have to screw it up, by failing while i am inside the circuit!
Screw up right?
I am going to learn man! really learn how to not feel anxious, nervous and everything during exams.
I have  to overcome the fear of exams. Else, I think I will just continue to fail. and I really don't want that.
I really need to just face it.
It sucks when u have the skills and all the knowledge and then in the end, you just have to face failure because of your stupid nervousness! =(
Its not only silly, its a freaking stupid act!

and 2009!
Its a really dumb year!
all the decisions I have to make! everything!

I promise I will make 2010 better!
yes! 2010 will be a good year!
I am going to PASS every single test i have in 2010!
I will!
Sometimes being too confident isn't that good also!
I will try my very best to make 2010 a GREAT year for me!
and everyone around me. =)

Happy New Year 2010! =)

2nd last day of 2009

So fast its going to be the end of the year le. =)
It's good, cuz, I want 2009 to end, FAST.
I will make 2010 better, I want 2010 to be a better year!

I am sleeping late again! this is not good!
I hate tossing and turning on the bed and then can't get to sleep! =((

And, finally at last, I couldn't keep them inside me anymore and I just pour all of them out.
maybe it's good in a way.. =)

MOVIE! =D

AVATAR(3D) is good! go watch! haha!
it's definitely worth it! cuz the play time is about 3 hours! hahaha! =p
the movie is really good! that explains why they took so long to produce it! =)
I like everything about the movie except! the stupid glasses! TOO BIG! TOO HEAVY!
I dont wear specs! so i couldn't get used to putting on the glasses for 3 hours! so i kept fidgeting throughout the whole movie! hahaha!
Those who cant get used to wearing specs! bring tissue paper! so you can support the big glasses by putting the tissue paper on top of your nose. this sounds wrong! but whatever! I hope you know what i meant! =D

i have night class today!
econs tml late afternoon till night!
work at night on thurs till sunday!
this is good! no more. lily and lily only! =D

i'm good! =D

I have been feeling great the past few days!
I guess devoting a few hours of my time to go work and make some friends, is better than locking myself in d room, keeping to myself and all! It's so much better! and I've really become more cheery. =)
now my days is not just, me and me alone. there is me and my colleague. I'm so happy! I'm so glad I got this job! I hope, it will continue to be so. I hope, nothing will change. I hope things will remain as it is. I really hope so! I hope the people there wont turn bitchy and stuffs! I hope they will remain as nice! =)
and i really thank SH for getting me the job! =D

I dreamt of Ade girl yesterday! haha! i dreamt of her telling me she bought my masks for me ald! and waiting for another 1 to come out so she can buy me a full set sth like that! lols! Thanks for the Xmas card girl! =) Hope you are enjoying yourself now at Korea! =D

and i dreamt of sth else too yesterday. =)

I cant wait for Bestie and Ade girl to come back so that i can tell them things! hahaha! I miss them already! =))

=D

In the end i went to msia (Malacca & Port Dickson) for the weekend! yayness! i'm glad because we reached there safe and sound, had fun, and came back safely toO! and most importantly, i also came back in ONE piece and nothing bad or nothing that shouldn't happen happen. so in short nothing happen. I am proud of myself and i am proud of us. =D

I enjoyed the shopping! the walking! and the eating! and of course, the great companion with Pei Jun, Amanda, Debra, Vipul, Sathiya and Stan.. 7 of us set off on a road trip to Malaysia on Saturday morning..
photos will be up soon.. here.. soon.. =)

I'm practically walking and buying almost every "Mickey Mouse" items i set my eyes on. HAHA!
Most of the stuffs i bought are really. MICKEY MOUSE. lol. =p

neverminds. shall put them up next time i blog. =)

watched twilight today! =(
disappointed! not as nice as i thought it should be, the whole show was quite boring and i don't know.. maybe the 2nd one shouldn't even come out. because its seems that they are trying to capture something out of nothing. meaning, in the end, what they showed was quite kind of extra. not necessary. oh wells. I'm glad they aren't making the 3rd twilight or anything, because if there is, i don't think much people will go catch it..
haha. ok. enough of my complaining. =x

Bestie is in Darwin already. I hope she is having a great time there! and hope everything will be good and great! =D

a trip not possible.

i have been looking forward to this weekend trip to M'sia with Stan and his group of friends.
I really was looking forward to the trip, because i've been wanting to get away from Singapore.

GET AWAY FROM HERE. GET AWAY FROM HERE. 

who i go with is never important, what's important is.. i get to go away from here.
I really wanted to go. just anywhere. as long as i can get away from here. from this suffocating room. this suffocating place. away from the books and the school and the environment. i just need to get away. anywhere, with whoever. but now, i am stuck here. STUCKED.
i just so screwed.. i am still stuck here in the end.

i was thinking back, if i could conclude if my past 11+ years here, was it a happy or unhappy one..
and i concluded that i have been unhappy and the life here sucked since i was here.
i have cried more than i smiled or laughed.
i had more sleepless nights than early nice, sweet dream nights.
the only happy times was when i am spending time with friends and nothing else. other than that, its as if i am locked up in this small suffocating room. every single second..
i know i know. in the end, i need to study and get the damn cert and show it to those elders who thinks a great deal of the cert.

i am still troubled over something else.
its really tiring and really hurting when your loved ones, the person whom you really wanted support from is actually objecting and discouraging something you are putting effort on.
its really tiring. when every time we talk, the question that will pop out is, "still together?"
till now, i am still thinking if all that is said will come true.
if what those "tellers" said made any sense or not.
i know i need to get this done as soon as possible, else, i will be the one getting drained from it all.
they never knew that their support meant a lot to me. they never knew and i guess they never will.

be grateful that your parents are supporting you in the relationship. because family support really means a lot.
else, if you have to hold on to it alone. it gets pretty tiring.

Bestie girl is going overseas tomorrow. Have a safe trip. Have a great one. I'm sure you will have a great time. I am happy for you girl..