bored to the max

i was bored and did this "survey" to kill time. haha.

here's the result to the survey. wake up call for me too.

Is He Marriage Material?

Is your partner really worth walking down the aisle with?

Your Results

This guy needs a wake-up call!

This is a hard pill to swallow, but your current guy is taking you way too much for granted. Neither is he thinking long-term about the two of you. "If his designs on his future go too far without mentioning you and the life you want to live, then in fifteen years' time he may be living solo," says Susan Swimmer, author of Is He The One?

His spending habits probably tell the same story, too: That he's pretty nonchalant about the future. "It doesn't matter if he's a gazillionaire or a minimum wager, what makes all the difference is how he handles what he has," adds Swimmer, and you want a guy who works honestly, saves responsibly, and spends sensibly.

Bottom line: If you truly love him, it's time to have a serious talk about your future together -- where you're headed, what your plans are, and what you expect from your partner. Hopefully, this will be a wakeup call for your guy. But if he's not on the same page when it comes to your relationship, stop wasting your time and get outta there -- you deserve better.

copied from : http://msn.shoppinglifestyle.com/sg/quiz/marriagematerial/result.asp

i dont want to be sued of copying, so i shall just copy down the webby i got this from .. =p

i need to stop worrying.
I re-organized my room AGAIN today. just because, i want to distract myself and keep my mind and time occupied. I think i just did that last month. and i re-do the whole room again today!
I was in a super bad mood throughout the day, cause, i cant stop thinking about my results and how it is going to be. really, really, i need to stop worrying and start believing that it's all going to be good.

thinking.

Sunday was bad to me, or rather period wasn’t being nice to me this month. Last month I was good, this month it was so bad. I shall cut the details. It’s pretty much the same old thing. What’s important is, I am good, better and a little bit healthier now =)

I’m going back Singapore in September, should be mid Sept, most probably on the day school starts. Cuz air tickets only starts to get cheaper from 20^th Sept. any days before that are super expensive, unless I really need to be there earlier, else, I won’t pay more just to get myself ready for school over there. =p

Too many people passed away just within days. One of them is my customer’s grandson, only 14 yrs old, died because of bike accident. Another one, cousin’s grandma also just passed away. This birth and death thing is kind of scary. It just makes everything seems so unreal. One thing may be here now, it might be gone tomorrow. Let’s just treasure whatever is happening?

I have been having weird dreams, and having a lot and lot of dreams almost every single day. About a lot of different events, about a lot of random people, people I don’t even really think about, it just makes it even weirder why I even dream about them. My Mom says she don’t even dream about anything, every night she just goes to sleep and then wakes up and then start the day and ends the day. No dreams, nothing. I seem to be the only one in the house having lots and lots of dreams.

I always think back, I always think back. Let’s stop thinking, it won’t happen anyway.

I am really worried about my result. I really am. I would be lying, if I say, I am not at all worried. I probably think about it day and night. I really won’t know what I could do, what I would do, if, if I don’t do well. I really don’t know. Getting a diploma and then getting a degree in Singapore? I really wish, I really wish, I could do without a degree. I really wish I can just move on without a freaking degree. It’s making me go crazy really. All the worrying, all the guessing, all the waiting.

Ok good, I cant sleep tonight, I am still so awake now. This is no good. =(

Nvm, shall not feed the mozzies. Im off to sleep!

And I miss my Bestie! I hope I could fly back and spend time with her more before she fly off and we probably won’t even get to meet once a year. Argh! This is so frustrating. =( but if her leaving is for her own good and happiness, I will be happy for her too. I will visit when I could, hopefully I can go over to visit soon! I still can’t believe, she’s moving away. Oh wells, what’s going to happen, will happen. If it’s for the greater good, then, why not?

Am I making sense? Alright, I shall stop. Good nights! 

Some updates! =))

I finally have some friends and I am doing quite good in keeping in touch with dear friends =)

Had dinner with Mirna & Gita yesterday night! =) after so long, I finally meet up with Gita. She is in the corporate world now. How’s being in the corporate world? I am kind of wondering. It seems fun though, from what I hear from her. It’s definitely true that, over here it is so much more relaxing and not so stressful and fast pace as it is in Singapore or probably any other country. People here seems to just relax – chill and just do it at their own pace. That has its pros and cons too though. Haha. Yes, for now I do prefer the “chilax” kind of lifestyle. =)

I’m doing good with the shop and everything. One thing for sure is, when I quiet down I can’t help but to think about my two major problems. I know they are there. I am just choosing not to think about it.

Oh wait! Something for me to be happy about, Mom actually told me she can attend Bestie’s wedding with me! =D I am so happy la!!! That way, I wouldn’t have to feel awkward and attend it ALONE.  Cause I don’t really like the idea of attending a function alone. Plus its a wedding! I haven't been to many wedding so i wouldn't know how to behave. =X If i go alone, i tend to want to give myself excuses to just show my face and leave and save all the awkwardness. :/ but I know its my Bestie’s wedding and she is the first and very first friend of mine who actually got married. So yeaps, its really important to me too! =)) 

so I am really happy when mom said that she probably can attend Bestie wedding with me. Thank you Mommy!! =D

End Aug, early Sept seems so far away but then, not really so far away too. =/ I am still thinking thinking thinking. If i made it or not. if i got some pretty presentable result or not. how did i do actually. I am envious of people who already finish their studies. got their degree and bla bla bla.. i am really envious. cuz that means they got off the hook already. They don't have to do the studying anymore! seriously, studying is a waste of time when you just don't get the real fruits of your labour.

getting into a University made me hate studying so much. I prefer to do anything as long as its not studying. but oh wells, whatever, I need to get that degree, that piece of paper. so, okay.. suck thumb. 

and next, my relationship with Stan. People, everyone has been asking me the same question again and again. and telling me the same thing again and again. I really agree with what they tell me. I really do agree, but sometimes, really, I am the one stuck with the situation and its probably really just me who knows whatever is going on and I am the one who will actually choose the right time to end it all. or probably maybe, I hope Stan reads this and ask for a break up with me. I might cry for a day or two. I might feel really lost for a week or maybe a month or two. I might miss his companion a lot. but I am sure, it will all pass. The only thing I hope for is, I hope we didn't make the wrong decision to be together and then to part in the end and treat each other as strangers. 

Regrets regrets, its something everyone is afraid of. EVERYONE. And i have made a lot of wrong decisions, which is why i am really scared of making the wrong decisions now. I don't want to be the one suffering in the end. I know I am selfish, by saying so, but who wants to get hurt?

end July is coming soon. =( one more month at home and I probably got to go back to Singapore. With Bestie soon (very soon) leaving Singapore. I am back to be with all my other friends who will be busy with school, with work and I am back on my own. It just seems to me that, everyone in Sg is pretty much busy with their own doings and then, its really really difficult to even find yourself a true friend. I can't wait to leave Sg. But i know i need to get a degree first. I can't wait to get over with this "boring" life and move on to my next phase of life. I know it takes time, I am getting impatient, but I know i just need to wait.

oh wells, whatever. life. suck thumb.

i chatted with Mom till we slept yst night. talked a lot. apparently i was being really grumpy yesterday. yups..
SO, i decided to heed Mom's advice and not go for the interview.. and after considering much and asking around about the whole thing. YES, i decided to letit wait. and not go for teh interview this Saturday. It will do everybody good.

So school will start on 20th Sept that week.
I am not prepared. or rather I am waiting for results to be released soon. Early Sept or end August.
My youngest aunt and my Mom has been asking me what would I do if let's say something bad happen.
and all i can say is... I've tried my best and if i am really that unlucky, i have nothing else to say also. but up till now, i am trying to be really positive. I will pass everything alright? yeaps... i really hope i will. I have been praying every single day. I hope God heard my prayers. =)
whatever it is.. 船到桥头自然直。。。
yups yups.. so yah.. like what heup say.. no point worrying about it now..
whatever it is.. i will try to be as positive as i can be. =)

Mom's back.. after going for her "rest" for ten days :)
Glad to have a companion to sleep. The 10 days that she was away.. I really didn't sleep much.. cuz i was really scared. =( Cuz I know there are "things" in the house.. =/

So i've been pretty much.. staying at home most of the time..
couldn't find the right time to meet friends either..
but I am glad Irene girl is coming back soon from China.. =))
SO finally i have a friend here...

I've been pretty much Irene girl's "love consultant". HAHA! ok, to put it nicely, her relationship consultant.
She's been asking me opinion about this and that.. and all i told her is my opinion, they maybe wrong, maybe right.. =/
so just take my advice with a pinch of salt.
in the end she is the one in the relationship, not me, so no one knows it better than herself.

Bestie girl is back in Singapore too! =)
and all i can say again is.. I hope everything went well.. I know separation is "disgusting" but through separation, we know how much the other person weighs in our heart. It makes both of you stronger too! =))
SIX months will breeze through very very soon! and then you three will spent every single day together, always. =)

just like now, my separation with Stan.. every year separate for 3-4 months... hahahaha.. i know how much he weighs in my heart. and how much i weighs in his. Oh wells.. let nature takes its course..

okay.. relationship thingy... as of now.. its really not important...
i just want to pass every single one of my subj.. and let me graduate next year! =)

pissed off with myself.

leave now if u dun wan to read, because what you are going to read next is nothing nice.

i really like reconnecting with my friends. but by doing so, it just made me realize that i am such a failure. i am so super useless. 
seriously. wtf. everyone has graduated! holding a stable job now.
what am i doing here? still waiting for the damn result! which i don't even know whether i do well or not.
seriously. i am so super screw up. i hate this so much.
sometimes i even feel that my whole family is screwed up.
none of us is a graduate!
now i am the only one left still hanging nowhere.
i seriously hate this situation so so much.

ok there are also others in the same situation as i am. whatever, i just hate myself so much. because i am just so screwed up.