what is this?

first, i escaped a bus accident.
a bus i could have been, on friday morning on my way to school. not just a bus breakdown, but a bus accident. as the bus i was on drove past the bus which got into an accident, i was really relieved how lucky i was not to be on that bus, and how close i was to be on that bus accident. cuz i know the impact it would have been on me, if i was on that bus.

second, Saturday evening. http://news.xin.msn.com/en/singapore/article.aspx?cp-documentid=4430003
while i was happily cycling at Pasir ris park, and a "19 yr old youth got into a fight and was killed at downtown east"
the place i was aimlessly walking about at 3-4pm? i went cycling at 5pm? fell down my bike at 615pm? went for dinner at 8..? saw the blood trails from Popeye all the way till Sakura buffet.

my friend still ask me. was it a Halloween prank? its not.
truth is, while the people there are trying to act like ghosts and zombies and acting dead, someone else nearby really went dead.

For consecutive 3 years. I was at Downtown east during halloween.
One year for Jordan's bday. Last year for Pris bday. This year, for a free chalet.
this year, which i probably will never forget, right where i was hours before, someone got murdered.
Police, CIDs were examining the place. whats the use? Its funny, they are ald cleaning up the place with detergents, and then they came to look for evidence? I hope the person will get caught. It's insane, such a person who got someone killed shouldn't be freed. 19 year old! what are 19 year olds thinking nowadays?
Even that NS guy who went around stabbing long haired girls. What was he thinking. What forced him into that state?

Life has been weird, what's this world becoming to?
People went there for Halloween celebration. What's there to fight?! and kill someone in d process?
This world, what is it turning into?
Everyone, seems to have just become a selfish piece of inhuman being.
Humans, are getting crazier. Probably no one is even sane.
The rich are spending so much money on whats not.
The poor are trying so hard to keep themselves alive.
Earthquakes, Floods, Diseases, Tsunamis..?
A safe country like here? is it really that safe anymore?

Damn it, my heart really sank when i read the news just now.
These past 2 days has been really, insane.
I never want to be in that kind of situation!
I never want to have to witness any of these unfortunate events anymore.

I am not as strong as that. to forget and not relate.
or to be positive and think about how lucky i was not to be there.
then those people..? they r just plain unlucky?
define lucky.

Finally!

Finally got news from Bestie after 1 week! =D
i rmb it was last Monday when she texted me. So its been one week since she contacted me. So FINALLY i received an email from her, well not only me, the other of her Besties received it too. Im sure we are all happy to hear at least some news from her =)
I'm glad u r doing great dearest! =))

So I met Agnes Monica last Saturday at Taka! <3 <3 <3
I was super duper happy can! I never expect to meet her. She's been an inspiration to me. I've "like" her since very very long ago!
so i was really happy when i got to bump into her. the only stupid thing i did was, i didnt catch any photos with her =(
oh wells, its over, if time permits, if i am in better luck, i guess i'll get to bump into her again one day. AND
i definitely will snap a photo with her, no matter what =D

I've been back on track with studies since Sunday=)
start with all the catching up on readings, articles, notes, tutorials.
Which is really good.
I've pushed myself. I'm sure i can do this.
I believe hard work pays of, I proved it last sem, I believe I can do it again this time round.
and then, it will be another step forward towards another bigger dream =)

I just need to set my priorities right, i just need to make sure that I FOCUS FOCUS & FOCUS.
When it's time to rest, i will rest, when its time to study, i will study.
That is the only way right? =D

I'm looking forward to studying sessions at NTU =D

There is nothing wrong with having big dreams, no one can fault u for that =)
So, dream even bigger dreams, and work towards it =))
Nothing is impossible, With determination, hard-work, faith, confidence and prayers. :)

procrastinating

I've been procrastinating for 3 weeks now. Or rather I've been lazy for three weeks now. It's no good. I've been back in singapore for 3 weeks ald now. and i miss home already. Great.

so now i have assignments, tutorials and articles waiting for e to read. Bravo!

Okay. i will make sure i finish the articles I'm supposed to read by tonight. No more procrastination. =)

and. hmm.. what else do i want to say, except, I will work hard from this second onwards. towards May 2011 =D


I'll do good. No worries.
I've thrown away distractions. Put behind all the not important stuffs. and basically, anything not related to studies. =D

Hopefully Bestie is doing great in Sydney, Please take good care of yourself Dearest! =)


"The minute you felt like giving up, think why you've held on for so long." :)

Thank God, Bestie has reached her new home, probably already asleep now.
I'm more or less relieved, it's like the stone in my heart has just chipped off and become smaller. I'm still really confused tho. But not without reason. I know those sms-es are definitely real, no joke. And my heart aches each time I think about those SMS-es. But there is really nothing I can do to help. When I got to know it, it's really like one big bomb just exploded on my face. I cannot explain d anger and d worry Im feeling. All I know is, she must have felt really terrible, really sad, really devastated and LOST.
I wish I was there to give advices. Yes, my advices may not work, may not be useful. But at least I know more or less it could be absorbed and she could reconsider.

I know my bestie needs constant reminders from us that she is a very important friend to us. But then I'm not the kind who likes to keep saying certain stuffs. Bcuz I'm scared they will become unreal. Furthermore I am also scared, it's just my own thinking. My own wishful thinking.

I am still confused till now. And I have been feeling really tired for these past 2weeks. Sleeping at 3 almost every weekend. I don't know. I just can't sleep. It seems like, the worry-ness got over my sleepiness and tiredness. And i have myself to Blame! I shld have been more proactive in getting involved with her life. That's what a Bestie shld do. But instead im here scared about this and that. But the big picture is, What I am really scared of is, I'm scared of losing her.

Okay this sounds mushy. :/ but it's true, it really is true and it just got into me when I got to know about this and that. It just confuses me. I don't know what's real and what's fake. Are these all real or are these just false pretense? It really did made me confused, sad and helpless!!! Really. I just want to do whatever I can to help.

Whatever it is, deep inside me, I still really hope that this will be a happy union. The correct path for my Bestie. I hope He will take good care of her.

I still couldn't get over the fact that Bestie is on a plane, reaching Brisbane soon.
and the fact that, we are here, she is there in another country already.

how do i describe this feeling. haha. it's weird, when people starts comparing, who and who did what, more or less. and whats worst, who and who cried, shows who is more hurt.  and who and who didn't cry shows that they don't give a damn about it.
humans. I am just speechless. I couldn't care more. our actions disgusts me really.

I am better and better at fighting back my emotions.
and better and better and covering up for my feelings.
good job to me.

alright, as soon as i makes sure Bestie reaches Brisbane safely, i shall go sleep.
tml, got to start fighting book wars.

sometimes what's seen from the eye, is not what it appears to be.

I miss my Bestie.

Went to send Bestie, Mitch & Alicia to the airport.
Nope I didn't shed a single tear.
I just really feel v sad, worried and happy altogether.
So it's really difficult to express that kind of feeling.
All I hope for is, I hope she'll be happy.
I hope She'll become a great Wife, Mother and also Daughter to her parents. =)

And most importantly, I hope Mitch will take really good care of my Bestie.
And Of course, as Alicia grows up, I hope she will become less naughty. =)

All the best dearest girl. You'll be missed!