i've been living life like a lifeless human, pretty much.
everyday is the same old thing. still worried about exam results.
things to settle between me and Stan.
should i let him go?
actually this qns has always been on my mind for quite a long time already. maybe the sooner i settle it, the better it will be.
what will my future with him be like.
I really don't know.
so should i let him go?
i hope i pass every single of my exam subj. please. i need to pass everything.
its sad hearing all my friends already working, having pretty much a bright future ahead.
me? still thinking on what is in store for me? what will happen. tell me.. what will happen.
hais.
life. please give me a break. I need to know something. I need to know. give me just a little bit of clue.
hope Bestie girl n family is doing great in Brisbane. =)
Friday, June 25, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
actually i really dont know what to do with my life.
i always go back to the same thing again and again.
its not that i want to be like this. its more of.. it seems like i have to be like this. and i really dont like it.
i wake up every morning. shower, breakfast and start and end the day with helping out at the bakery shop. really nothing much. i feel really lifeless.
ok shouldnt compare whose life is more sucky. there r bound to be other's life who is suckier than mine.
everytime, i try to want to reconnect myself with my friends, i feel sad after being updated.
ok im updated through twitter, Facebook, blogs.
yah.. i am sad. cuz, everyone's updates is about being offered this job, bla bla bla...
going where for holidays..
or they are more or less aware of what is in store for them in the future.
where as me?
i am no where... not even in the middle.
honestly, i am still worried, every single day. i just get worried. i really dont know what is going to happen to know..
what my future will be like..
and i get pissed off over even small small stuffs. what they call PMS?
i get really impatient these few days. really impatient. i cannot stand a single mistake nor a single long winded conversation.
just get to the main point. full stop. as easy as abc.
ok.. im thinking too much.. pointless blog...
i feel like writing a long email to bestie girl..
but then.. nvm.. i'll just do it for another day...
not that i dont want to type.. not that i am lazy.. but i dont know.. i just have a very weird feeling about everything.
and silly me, even have the thought of not wanting to even be present.
because we all always have the same thoughts, she has all her other friends le, one less me wont make any difference.
but i guess a friend's presence is always important in bad times and good times...
in bad times, you really know who your friend really is, who is the one who complains, who listens, who really can go through all these nonsense with you.
in these tough times.. you really know who your friends are.
i miss my friends. =(
good nights world.
i shant think too much.
pointless blog.
i just wana rant.
i always go back to the same thing again and again.
its not that i want to be like this. its more of.. it seems like i have to be like this. and i really dont like it.
i wake up every morning. shower, breakfast and start and end the day with helping out at the bakery shop. really nothing much. i feel really lifeless.
ok shouldnt compare whose life is more sucky. there r bound to be other's life who is suckier than mine.
everytime, i try to want to reconnect myself with my friends, i feel sad after being updated.
ok im updated through twitter, Facebook, blogs.
yah.. i am sad. cuz, everyone's updates is about being offered this job, bla bla bla...
going where for holidays..
or they are more or less aware of what is in store for them in the future.
where as me?
i am no where... not even in the middle.
honestly, i am still worried, every single day. i just get worried. i really dont know what is going to happen to know..
what my future will be like..
and i get pissed off over even small small stuffs. what they call PMS?
i get really impatient these few days. really impatient. i cannot stand a single mistake nor a single long winded conversation.
just get to the main point. full stop. as easy as abc.
ok.. im thinking too much.. pointless blog...
i feel like writing a long email to bestie girl..
but then.. nvm.. i'll just do it for another day...
not that i dont want to type.. not that i am lazy.. but i dont know.. i just have a very weird feeling about everything.
and silly me, even have the thought of not wanting to even be present.
because we all always have the same thoughts, she has all her other friends le, one less me wont make any difference.
but i guess a friend's presence is always important in bad times and good times...
in bad times, you really know who your friend really is, who is the one who complains, who listens, who really can go through all these nonsense with you.
in these tough times.. you really know who your friends are.
i miss my friends. =(
good nights world.
i shant think too much.
pointless blog.
i just wana rant.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
random!
I've been back for almost 3 weeks till now. nothing much changed. still looking after shop. Sometimes dealing with retarded-unreasonable customers who think they can cheat me off my money just because they think they are rich and so they can do anything.
that is one of the most hated thing about doing business.
u have to take in all the nonsense from your customers.
u have to THINK they are right.
u have to swallow in all the unreasonable "wants" they have.
and one thing i have pretty much come to terms with about some rich people is, they are all very stingy. hmm.. maybe stingy is not really the correct word, if you know what i mean.
it's like.. they are already so rich, but they still want to cheat people off their five bucks.
its FIVE BUCKS not FIFTY BUCKS!
(converted the currency for easy understanding sake)
maybe they just want to feel that they can become five bucks richer. i dont know. whatever it is, rich people should stop being so.
and i have been emphasising this so much.
IF U WANT ME TO RESPECT YOU, NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, THEN JOLLY WELL, SHOW ME THAT YOU CAN BE RESPECTED.
I've stopped having bad dreams for few days now.
i still havent stop worrying though. still very worried and everything.
but i am sure i will do just fine. people have been telling me, believe and you'll get what you believe.
yes i will believe this time round. and please, don't, don't disappoint me! =)
i am a 23 year old girl who is pretty much not like any other girl who puts on make up bla bla bla, before we go out to meet someone. sometimes i dont feel like a girl. =p
watever, i'm going to learn some basics one, since i'll be attending dearest Bestie girl Big Day in December.
haha! December, seems so far away, but actually, its quite near. trust me, the day will just come very very soon! without us realizing it. just like how 10 years "poofed-by" just like that!
have a nice holiday! enjoy it! =)
that is one of the most hated thing about doing business.
u have to take in all the nonsense from your customers.
u have to THINK they are right.
u have to swallow in all the unreasonable "wants" they have.
and one thing i have pretty much come to terms with about some rich people is, they are all very stingy. hmm.. maybe stingy is not really the correct word, if you know what i mean.
it's like.. they are already so rich, but they still want to cheat people off their five bucks.
its FIVE BUCKS not FIFTY BUCKS!
(converted the currency for easy understanding sake)
maybe they just want to feel that they can become five bucks richer. i dont know. whatever it is, rich people should stop being so.
and i have been emphasising this so much.
IF U WANT ME TO RESPECT YOU, NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, THEN JOLLY WELL, SHOW ME THAT YOU CAN BE RESPECTED.
I've stopped having bad dreams for few days now.
i still havent stop worrying though. still very worried and everything.
but i am sure i will do just fine. people have been telling me, believe and you'll get what you believe.
yes i will believe this time round. and please, don't, don't disappoint me! =)
i am a 23 year old girl who is pretty much not like any other girl who puts on make up bla bla bla, before we go out to meet someone. sometimes i dont feel like a girl. =p
watever, i'm going to learn some basics one, since i'll be attending dearest Bestie girl Big Day in December.
haha! December, seems so far away, but actually, its quite near. trust me, the day will just come very very soon! without us realizing it. just like how 10 years "poofed-by" just like that!
have a nice holiday! enjoy it! =)
Friday, June 4, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
feelings.
i am at IT again. what's new right. this time, (ok lah not so new a feeling) rather i am actually admitting that i am having that feeling.
yesterday was at a Vesak Day event at Temple. There is a bazzaar, so i am just sitting around, eating, buying things, helped out at some stalls and chit chatting. so Mom's friend came over to chit chat and asked me if i have a bf already. and i actually said "NO". HAHA.
ok i have his permission that i can go find better guys. i am actually waiting for him to ditch me. but sometimes i also ask myself, what if he don't ditch me? what if we got married and then like what uncle say, after one child, we will wnat a divorce from me?
shit no! i dont want that to happen to me! I don't want. SO maybe can someone give me teh courage to leave him if i set my mind on it?
so! Mom's friend, actually said that she wana intro a good guy to me! HAHAHAH!
and she sounded like she really will bring the guy to see me or something like that.
so my mom told her that i have a boyfriend already. uz my mom is scared that her friend will bring the guy and haha! funny liao!
then i tell my mama! meet new friends nothing wrong what! LOL~~~
okay, lets keep it short.
i dont know why i said i dun have a bf when i have.. but actually.. to be really honest, i feel like i am single now. like i dont have any boyfriend. yups.
im sure u all know why.
we dont text, sometimes we dont even msn. so basically, we just dont communicate at all while i am back here!
its not weird at all. cuz i see this coming! haha. oh wells, maybe we r having a silent break up.
whatever. i feel like i am single, so i shall be. =)
nights! gona sleep!
bye!
have a happy holiday! =)
yesterday was at a Vesak Day event at Temple. There is a bazzaar, so i am just sitting around, eating, buying things, helped out at some stalls and chit chatting. so Mom's friend came over to chit chat and asked me if i have a bf already. and i actually said "NO". HAHA.
ok i have his permission that i can go find better guys. i am actually waiting for him to ditch me. but sometimes i also ask myself, what if he don't ditch me? what if we got married and then like what uncle say, after one child, we will wnat a divorce from me?
shit no! i dont want that to happen to me! I don't want. SO maybe can someone give me teh courage to leave him if i set my mind on it?
so! Mom's friend, actually said that she wana intro a good guy to me! HAHAHAH!
and she sounded like she really will bring the guy to see me or something like that.
so my mom told her that i have a boyfriend already. uz my mom is scared that her friend will bring the guy and haha! funny liao!
then i tell my mama! meet new friends nothing wrong what! LOL~~~
okay, lets keep it short.
i dont know why i said i dun have a bf when i have.. but actually.. to be really honest, i feel like i am single now. like i dont have any boyfriend. yups.
im sure u all know why.
we dont text, sometimes we dont even msn. so basically, we just dont communicate at all while i am back here!
its not weird at all. cuz i see this coming! haha. oh wells, maybe we r having a silent break up.
whatever. i feel like i am single, so i shall be. =)
nights! gona sleep!
bye!
have a happy holiday! =)
Friday, May 28, 2010
homed.
i've been home for almost 4 days now =)
everything is good. i should be contented. =)
kind of not used to the heat and the dust and mozzies!
so since we have helpers who will help my mom, so most of the time i will stay in my room, on air-con and watch movies.. =)
but of course i dont stay in there for one whole day.. i will still come down and help tend the shop =).
so the last few days.
finalissed the brochure.
for now till sunday. i gt to work on my CV for SIA.
actually i really dont know what i should with it, mom said sth which made me hold back. but then again, i just want to give it a try and at least at the end of the day, i wana say, i tried and i sent it my CV and did everything i could. =)
me and mom talked alot. apparently, ,things didnt really change much, my parents are still hoping i will finish my studies soon. and yes i do want to finish sooon. so that i can say, yes i got my degree.
so that mom and dad wont feel so bad also, at least the kiddos they sent to singapore to study since we were small kids have now graduated and got their degree. yups. i should at least do this for them and of course for myself.
I cant help but to get really worried.
I know the reason as to why i couldnt fall asleep everynight. i am really scared.
i really hope i pass this exam.
i hope i pass everything and then go on to the last year to finish my studies.
i will make sacrifices. i really will.
because i've set my mind into doing it. be it going home from school to the library or whatever. i just need to do it and make sure i pass the last year if i pass everything this year.
i really hope i pass. else i really dont know what to do.
life is really unpredictable.
my bro went to the other shop and his pri school mate came to buy breads! and his friend's brother was also my classmate! from what i remember that boy used to be very naughty, don't do well in studies and just create trouble in school, getting into fights and all that.
who would ever think that, now this day.. he would be able to crave out a career for himself. actuallly he is his own boss. he owns a handphone shop and has his own house now, at the age of 23.
yeahs, u all might think that, a house and a shop in Indonesia dont mean much. i'm just trying to say, yeah.. even if we dont do well in school so what. in the end as long as you succeed in your life, its all that matters in the end.
look at me, at the age of 23, i'm still trying my best to finish school. and then, whats in store for me in future? i still have no idea at all. =(
but i guess i will just see some light some time soon? hopefully. =)
i haven't been replying people's sms to my phone. yes u all got the number correct. its me. i dont hold a single phone in indo. =p
its pretty good actually, in singapore i somehow is always there with my phone. replying sms-es instantly, over here, not that i don't wnat to reply, its i cant. cuz i dont have a phone with me. its good to be detached from all these technology sometime. =)
so, i've been good. hopefully everyone in singapore is good too.
hope everything will go on smoothly for you dear girl. the process will take sometime, but in the end, i believe you'll have a happy outcome. =)
i wish i could do something to help, but, well, i guess its obvious, i cant do much. =(
but still yeaps..
ALL THE VERY BEST WISHES FOR YOU. THREE! =)
everything is good. i should be contented. =)
kind of not used to the heat and the dust and mozzies!
so since we have helpers who will help my mom, so most of the time i will stay in my room, on air-con and watch movies.. =)
but of course i dont stay in there for one whole day.. i will still come down and help tend the shop =).
so the last few days.
finalissed the brochure.
for now till sunday. i gt to work on my CV for SIA.
actually i really dont know what i should with it, mom said sth which made me hold back. but then again, i just want to give it a try and at least at the end of the day, i wana say, i tried and i sent it my CV and did everything i could. =)
me and mom talked alot. apparently, ,things didnt really change much, my parents are still hoping i will finish my studies soon. and yes i do want to finish sooon. so that i can say, yes i got my degree.
so that mom and dad wont feel so bad also, at least the kiddos they sent to singapore to study since we were small kids have now graduated and got their degree. yups. i should at least do this for them and of course for myself.
I cant help but to get really worried.
I know the reason as to why i couldnt fall asleep everynight. i am really scared.
i really hope i pass this exam.
i hope i pass everything and then go on to the last year to finish my studies.
i will make sacrifices. i really will.
because i've set my mind into doing it. be it going home from school to the library or whatever. i just need to do it and make sure i pass the last year if i pass everything this year.
i really hope i pass. else i really dont know what to do.
life is really unpredictable.
my bro went to the other shop and his pri school mate came to buy breads! and his friend's brother was also my classmate! from what i remember that boy used to be very naughty, don't do well in studies and just create trouble in school, getting into fights and all that.
who would ever think that, now this day.. he would be able to crave out a career for himself. actuallly he is his own boss. he owns a handphone shop and has his own house now, at the age of 23.
yeahs, u all might think that, a house and a shop in Indonesia dont mean much. i'm just trying to say, yeah.. even if we dont do well in school so what. in the end as long as you succeed in your life, its all that matters in the end.
look at me, at the age of 23, i'm still trying my best to finish school. and then, whats in store for me in future? i still have no idea at all. =(
but i guess i will just see some light some time soon? hopefully. =)
i haven't been replying people's sms to my phone. yes u all got the number correct. its me. i dont hold a single phone in indo. =p
its pretty good actually, in singapore i somehow is always there with my phone. replying sms-es instantly, over here, not that i don't wnat to reply, its i cant. cuz i dont have a phone with me. its good to be detached from all these technology sometime. =)
so, i've been good. hopefully everyone in singapore is good too.
hope everything will go on smoothly for you dear girl. the process will take sometime, but in the end, i believe you'll have a happy outcome. =)
i wish i could do something to help, but, well, i guess its obvious, i cant do much. =(
but still yeaps..
ALL THE VERY BEST WISHES FOR YOU. THREE! =)
Monday, May 24, 2010
their happiness.
I finally meet Bestie, Alicia & Mitch today! finally!
after meeting up, I am relieved. all i can say is, I am happy they found each other.
This is probably the don't know how many times i repeated this.
but yeahs, I am really happy they found each other.
He may not be the perfect guy, with the perfect personality and everything!
But, I must say that, at least, he's one of the better ones among all the guys i have ever seen.
the way he treat my Bestie, even, me after spending only 8 hours with them, I see that he is a guy, girls can depend on, and, I know my Bestie is in safe hands.
He is just so different from other guys. It's difficult to put this into words.Whatever it is, I am really happy my dear girl is in safe hands and they found each other.
Its really difficult for outsiders to comprehend what I am talking about.
Whatever it is, just give your blessings and wish them well. I am sure they will do well in future. =)
Lastly, I am really happy they found each other =)
When they got down the car just now, I really just miss them so much! I know its silly to say this! I dont know, i just feel that i lost something! then how am i going to survive not seeing my dear girl when she moves to Darwin?!
I should stop being silly and.. get use to it! they are welcome to visit me in Jakarta if they are free. always welcome =)
I guess I'll never forget how when I am holding Alicia hand, and every passer-by is staring at me with that-kind of eyes. I guess, that is exactly how my dear girl felt when she first started going out with Mitch.
Human's eyes are a powerful weapon. They really are.
Don't get me wrong, I don't feel hurt just now.. but if i am in bestie position back then and people are staring at me as if i am some weirdo, then really, I'll be really hurt. but throughout the day, I learnt to ignore their "harmless" looks.
I'm going back tomorrow.. but I am not feeling at all excited. I don't know why..
Its like I am even lazy to pack up..
It's probably because, I am scared of going back. I really hate how its really so pressurizing.
back at home to face the families.. and here to face the books..
I know the questions which i will get will be....
I am really sick and scared about my future, how it will be like and everything...
I am envious and in fact, i am jealous at how all my friends have all graduated and I am still here, floating in uncertainty.
I really hate how I am in this stupid situation..
sorry no offense, but I hate how i am still in this country. still a foreign student, trying to crawl my way out of this shitty hole. I really hate it. period.
I really wish i could get out from here as soon as possible.
I just don't like the environment. it's not human. it's more of a robotic kind of life. devoid of feelings. everyone is doing their own thing. living their own world. I am even more hating my life, because I am still stuck, studying something which i really hate.
but then again, it's all in the mind.
while i am back home, if anyone wants to contact me...
sms to my +6598828316 number..
alternatively and safer...
email me at lily_zly@hotmail.com
alright, I hope lily will have a happy holiday.
after meeting up, I am relieved. all i can say is, I am happy they found each other.
This is probably the don't know how many times i repeated this.
but yeahs, I am really happy they found each other.
He may not be the perfect guy, with the perfect personality and everything!
But, I must say that, at least, he's one of the better ones among all the guys i have ever seen.
the way he treat my Bestie, even, me after spending only 8 hours with them, I see that he is a guy, girls can depend on, and, I know my Bestie is in safe hands.
He is just so different from other guys. It's difficult to put this into words.Whatever it is, I am really happy my dear girl is in safe hands and they found each other.
Its really difficult for outsiders to comprehend what I am talking about.
Whatever it is, just give your blessings and wish them well. I am sure they will do well in future. =)
Lastly, I am really happy they found each other =)
When they got down the car just now, I really just miss them so much! I know its silly to say this! I dont know, i just feel that i lost something! then how am i going to survive not seeing my dear girl when she moves to Darwin?!
I should stop being silly and.. get use to it! they are welcome to visit me in Jakarta if they are free. always welcome =)
I guess I'll never forget how when I am holding Alicia hand, and every passer-by is staring at me with that-kind of eyes. I guess, that is exactly how my dear girl felt when she first started going out with Mitch.
Human's eyes are a powerful weapon. They really are.
Don't get me wrong, I don't feel hurt just now.. but if i am in bestie position back then and people are staring at me as if i am some weirdo, then really, I'll be really hurt. but throughout the day, I learnt to ignore their "harmless" looks.
I'm going back tomorrow.. but I am not feeling at all excited. I don't know why..
Its like I am even lazy to pack up..
It's probably because, I am scared of going back. I really hate how its really so pressurizing.
back at home to face the families.. and here to face the books..
I know the questions which i will get will be....
So how's exams? Can pass? When are you graduating? have u broken up with Stanley?
what kind of job will u be in, in future? do you think u can graduate next year? how's your friends doing? blablabla~~~~~~
I am really sick as to how this future thing is bogging me down.I am really sick and scared about my future, how it will be like and everything...
I am envious and in fact, i am jealous at how all my friends have all graduated and I am still here, floating in uncertainty.
I really hate how I am in this stupid situation..
sorry no offense, but I hate how i am still in this country. still a foreign student, trying to crawl my way out of this shitty hole. I really hate it. period.
I really wish i could get out from here as soon as possible.
I just don't like the environment. it's not human. it's more of a robotic kind of life. devoid of feelings. everyone is doing their own thing. living their own world. I am even more hating my life, because I am still stuck, studying something which i really hate.
but then again, it's all in the mind.
while i am back home, if anyone wants to contact me...
sms to my +6598828316 number..
alternatively and safer...
email me at lily_zly@hotmail.com
alright, I hope lily will have a happy holiday.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
=D
okay! yesterday was awesome!
I meant Friday!
met up with Heup! okay! his bday "gift" was really unexpected!
I would never guess he would bring me to go for FACIAL!
He just made me fell in love with the facial place! because i just kept praising the services there!
Its really highly recommended by me! =))
but i forgot whats the name ald.. Is it Royal Secrets? I know its something Secrets!
Its really just awesome!!! =))
and then we went lunch! okay! that FAR EAST "la mian" is no longer one of my fav food anymore! it just tastes yucky when i go there yesterday with heup! so, that will be the last time i am there! =)
then we went MOVIE! I haven't catch any movie in months! and finally watched a 2nd movie with Heup! "The Last Song" is nice! I teared! =)
and after that we parted ways and i went to visit my doctor! =(
looks like i have to feed on medicines every single night from now on =(
seriously, that kind of sucks.
but i don't want to be this unhealthy!
so anyways, meeting with Heup is really nice! talked a lot lot! as usual!
i'm glad we didn't succeed in turning our back against each other! =p
thanks you once again! =))
so fast! its now Sunday!
and I'm feeling lucky today because, I just chance upon SIA recruitment in Jakarta!
they want us to send in CV though. Its not a walk-in interview.
So, I am actually going to work on my CV and make plans to have a simple full-length photo of me taken.
My dream to be an air-stewardess is still on, I still don't want to give up on it!
I simply love traveling! and i love serving people! so being an air-stewardess is definitely going to make me feel contented! I'll get to travel!
I'll get to serve people! =))
So i guess, i need to go sleep! I need to do alot of things the moment i open my eyes later! =)
nights all! =)
Have a great Sunday! =)
I meant Friday!
met up with Heup! okay! his bday "gift" was really unexpected!
I would never guess he would bring me to go for FACIAL!
He just made me fell in love with the facial place! because i just kept praising the services there!
Its really highly recommended by me! =))
but i forgot whats the name ald.. Is it Royal Secrets? I know its something Secrets!
Its really just awesome!!! =))
and then we went lunch! okay! that FAR EAST "la mian" is no longer one of my fav food anymore! it just tastes yucky when i go there yesterday with heup! so, that will be the last time i am there! =)
then we went MOVIE! I haven't catch any movie in months! and finally watched a 2nd movie with Heup! "The Last Song" is nice! I teared! =)
and after that we parted ways and i went to visit my doctor! =(
looks like i have to feed on medicines every single night from now on =(
seriously, that kind of sucks.
but i don't want to be this unhealthy!
so anyways, meeting with Heup is really nice! talked a lot lot! as usual!
i'm glad we didn't succeed in turning our back against each other! =p
thanks you once again! =))
so fast! its now Sunday!
and I'm feeling lucky today because, I just chance upon SIA recruitment in Jakarta!
they want us to send in CV though. Its not a walk-in interview.
So, I am actually going to work on my CV and make plans to have a simple full-length photo of me taken.
My dream to be an air-stewardess is still on, I still don't want to give up on it!
I simply love traveling! and i love serving people! so being an air-stewardess is definitely going to make me feel contented! I'll get to travel!
I'll get to serve people! =))
So i guess, i need to go sleep! I need to do alot of things the moment i open my eyes later! =)
nights all! =)
Have a great Sunday! =)
Friday, May 21, 2010
over.
yay! exam is over! I DONT HAVE TO STUDY ANYMORE, at least for the next 3 months! =))
I am really happy! i no need to study for the next three months!
I'll definitely be happier if i dont have to study anymore for the rest of my life, but whatever.
and whats best is, these next few days will be just, fun fun fun! anything is fun as long as i dont have to face the books! =)
I'm meeting heups later for, something.. go city hall for sth, i din bother asking go there do what, cuz he wont tell me anyway.. i have to go there and see whats in store for me for myself!
then at night got to go see the docs. I skipped one week of visiting them and i am feeling kind of unhealthy.
cuz i have difficulty breathing and headaches is coming back far too often.and because of exams, and i dun wan the headache to bug me, within 2 weeks, i finished one whole strip of panadol. mmm... =(
but no worries, i am alright actually.
I can run, can skip, can jump, can laugh, can breathe. Just that I cant do too much of them.
just like sports car can run up to 200km/hr...
i am just like cherry qq, which can only run for 80km/hr maximum...
that is how the doc described my condition to me.. by heart isn't as good as other people's heart. Its not damaged or anything.. just that it cant do much, which explains all my other illnesses...
like even when i am sitting down, my heart will suddenly beat very fast! and then it will slow down again soon after!
gasping for breath even when i am sitting here typing! i might just die if i forget how to breathe. haha! ok exaggerating! =p
I am really fine! so no worries! definitely not leaving earth that soon! =))
I am looking forward to monday! to meet bestie min! =))
and then, tomorrow is the last day of teaching! woo hoo hoo hoo!!! haha! i am happy for that too! =)))
and then, tuesday to go home!
sat and sunday.. hmm... got to go ade house collect clothes to be given to my little cousins at home..
and then hopefully spend happy times with stan.. hopefully ba! =)
i am crossing all my fingers, that hopefully we will spend some quality and happy time together..
i hate quarrelling!
okay! they are a also a way of communication.
but if u could communicate nicely, happily, then why would u wnat to quarrel right?! right??
okay! off to shower and then... go out out out!
its weird im trembling when its not even cold! =(
okay! Miranda Cosgrove - Kissing U ..
is replaying and replaying now! =)))
have a great weekend all! =))
I am really happy! i no need to study for the next three months!
I'll definitely be happier if i dont have to study anymore for the rest of my life, but whatever.
and whats best is, these next few days will be just, fun fun fun! anything is fun as long as i dont have to face the books! =)
I'm meeting heups later for, something.. go city hall for sth, i din bother asking go there do what, cuz he wont tell me anyway.. i have to go there and see whats in store for me for myself!
then at night got to go see the docs. I skipped one week of visiting them and i am feeling kind of unhealthy.
cuz i have difficulty breathing and headaches is coming back far too often.and because of exams, and i dun wan the headache to bug me, within 2 weeks, i finished one whole strip of panadol. mmm... =(
but no worries, i am alright actually.
I can run, can skip, can jump, can laugh, can breathe. Just that I cant do too much of them.
just like sports car can run up to 200km/hr...
i am just like cherry qq, which can only run for 80km/hr maximum...
that is how the doc described my condition to me.. by heart isn't as good as other people's heart. Its not damaged or anything.. just that it cant do much, which explains all my other illnesses...
like even when i am sitting down, my heart will suddenly beat very fast! and then it will slow down again soon after!
gasping for breath even when i am sitting here typing! i might just die if i forget how to breathe. haha! ok exaggerating! =p
I am really fine! so no worries! definitely not leaving earth that soon! =))
I am looking forward to monday! to meet bestie min! =))
and then, tomorrow is the last day of teaching! woo hoo hoo hoo!!! haha! i am happy for that too! =)))
and then, tuesday to go home!
sat and sunday.. hmm... got to go ade house collect clothes to be given to my little cousins at home..
and then hopefully spend happy times with stan.. hopefully ba! =)
i am crossing all my fingers, that hopefully we will spend some quality and happy time together..
i hate quarrelling!
okay! they are a also a way of communication.
but if u could communicate nicely, happily, then why would u wnat to quarrel right?! right??
okay! off to shower and then... go out out out!
its weird im trembling when its not even cold! =(
okay! Miranda Cosgrove - Kissing U ..
is replaying and replaying now! =)))
have a great weekend all! =))
Friday, May 14, 2010
new
I found a new song for myself le.
I've been replaying this song again and again on my ipod. =)
I just love it the minute i hear it! =)
It made my heart feels heavy but at the same time it made me feel better too. =)
and yeaps...
at some point in life, people around you are just going to leave you one by one...
maybe they wont leave you forever, maybe they will...
there is a point in time where, everyone will get busy and things just wont be the same anymore.
at least it wont be like how you want it to be.
so, in the end, all the people you love will just leave you one by one..
its sad isn't it?
but then again. there is nothing you can do, except, to just accept them as they come along.. yeaps..
and then, I also know..
when the time comes, Stanley will also leave me.
everything has got to do with fate I guess, when the fate between you and the other person has ended, you'll just leave each other.
not only couples, in friendship too..
so yeahs..
I really dont know what to say when people around me ask me when am i going to leave stan.
thing is, maybe i am not used to myself leaving others, so i dont know how to do it..
and maybe i am used to people leaving me, so maybe, i will let him leave me.
or when, i've had it.. maybe then, i will leave him.. yeapps...
and then yst, Irene girl asked me something..
she asked me how many best friends i have..
okay, i know it's kind of a childish question..
but then it got me thinking..
there is probably only one girl friend whom i really trust and whom i feel safe telling things to her.. and soon.. yeaps.. she is going to pursue her own happiness. i am happy for her.. and i really do wish her all the best..
maybe i wont feel so lost now.. but when the time comes, no matter how i feel, i guess, i just have to take it in. I am sure she will feel weird leaving all of us here.. but it's her new life, her choice. she got to do what she have to do. as long as she is happy i am sure, the people she leave behind here will be happy for her... We will just give her our best wishes..
and then, on my birthday...
it got me thinking.. yeahs.. i have very pathetic few friends in Singapore. as in really pathetic.
i actually counted the number of people who wished me, those who remembered...
and when i go down the list, i realised they are people who have been sticking by me all these while..
they are not my Hi-Bye friends.. I am pretty glad i have the small bunch of them still with me, for letting me know they remember.
and then.. I also come to realize that, those people whom i thought will always remember... they are all gone also.. those guys.. yeaps.. they are just gone, even when we exchange sms, i just dont feel the "bond" there anymore also.. yeaps..
Maybe i do miss them, but then again, I also realise that, people move on. They don't stop and look back at what has happened.
I kind of feel a little bit lost when I realised I only have so few friends.. yeaps.. I kind of feel sad.
but then also, what Mad & Heup said made sense..
Do I want a lot lot of friends, who are just superficial friends..
or do I want just a small bunch of friends, who really know me for who I am and accepting me for who I am..
I chose the latter.. so yeaps.. I won't complain about having too few friends anymore.. =)
okay. random.
have a nice weekend everyone. =)
I've been replaying this song again and again on my ipod. =)
I just love it the minute i hear it! =)
It made my heart feels heavy but at the same time it made me feel better too. =)
and yeaps...
at some point in life, people around you are just going to leave you one by one...
maybe they wont leave you forever, maybe they will...
there is a point in time where, everyone will get busy and things just wont be the same anymore.
at least it wont be like how you want it to be.
so, in the end, all the people you love will just leave you one by one..
its sad isn't it?
but then again. there is nothing you can do, except, to just accept them as they come along.. yeaps..
and then, I also know..
when the time comes, Stanley will also leave me.
everything has got to do with fate I guess, when the fate between you and the other person has ended, you'll just leave each other.
not only couples, in friendship too..
so yeahs..
I really dont know what to say when people around me ask me when am i going to leave stan.
thing is, maybe i am not used to myself leaving others, so i dont know how to do it..
and maybe i am used to people leaving me, so maybe, i will let him leave me.
or when, i've had it.. maybe then, i will leave him.. yeapps...
and then yst, Irene girl asked me something..
she asked me how many best friends i have..
okay, i know it's kind of a childish question..
but then it got me thinking..
there is probably only one girl friend whom i really trust and whom i feel safe telling things to her.. and soon.. yeaps.. she is going to pursue her own happiness. i am happy for her.. and i really do wish her all the best..
maybe i wont feel so lost now.. but when the time comes, no matter how i feel, i guess, i just have to take it in. I am sure she will feel weird leaving all of us here.. but it's her new life, her choice. she got to do what she have to do. as long as she is happy i am sure, the people she leave behind here will be happy for her... We will just give her our best wishes..
and then, on my birthday...
it got me thinking.. yeahs.. i have very pathetic few friends in Singapore. as in really pathetic.
i actually counted the number of people who wished me, those who remembered...
and when i go down the list, i realised they are people who have been sticking by me all these while..
they are not my Hi-Bye friends.. I am pretty glad i have the small bunch of them still with me, for letting me know they remember.
and then.. I also come to realize that, those people whom i thought will always remember... they are all gone also.. those guys.. yeaps.. they are just gone, even when we exchange sms, i just dont feel the "bond" there anymore also.. yeaps..
Maybe i do miss them, but then again, I also realise that, people move on. They don't stop and look back at what has happened.
I kind of feel a little bit lost when I realised I only have so few friends.. yeaps.. I kind of feel sad.
but then also, what Mad & Heup said made sense..
Do I want a lot lot of friends, who are just superficial friends..
or do I want just a small bunch of friends, who really know me for who I am and accepting me for who I am..
I chose the latter.. so yeaps.. I won't complain about having too few friends anymore.. =)
okay. random.
have a nice weekend everyone. =)
last one.
so... its almost 2am. i am still not asleep.
at least for today, i am still not asleep not because i am still studying.
a day of rest for me.. tml got to start studying bit by bit for the last one on 20th! =)
the last few papers was.. all i can say is... i did my best, and honestly, i kind of let go already..
so whether i make it through or not, i guess i will just accept whatever outcome it is.
Of course! I hope I pass all of them.
everyone is having their last exam, bla bla bla.. graduation ceremony... and everything..
i am the only one left. ok maybe not exactly the only one left...
but in a way.. yeahs.. so i hope i graduate fast too!
i cant wait to get out from this boring life.
and then.. tada! i am happy to hear about the news.
Its another big step forward! a really big one! it concerns the rest of your life! well, i guess they must have been really sure about their decision, that's why they chose to move on to take that step. its not easy to have come to that step.
whatever it is, love each other, respect each other, tolerate each other & trust each other.
I wish you both all the best wishes! =)
better treat her nice! =))
and! i am going home soon! yay! yay! yay!
i wana complain.. im getting sick of staying here...
because of the cockroaches.. and all the unhygienic habits..
i hope i have my own house soon!
but oh wells!
and then..
thank you boyfriend, for sending me for exam, all the way at expo and waited for me... just because u know i am not feeling well bcuz of the monthly period!
that is why i still cant let go. because u still care for me.
thank you.
and i am happy! i met ade girl on tuesday!
the ride back to batok from bedok!
i miss talking to you ade girl!
next...
looking forward to
20th May -- last paper!
21st May -- meet Heups for whatever he said he wana give me!
27th May -- Home Sweet Home!
and in between!
meet ups with dear girl! must meet before i go back. promise! i'll go find u if u don't find me..
I'll be thick skin for once and appear at your door step! =p
alright!
good night world!
at least for today, i am still not asleep not because i am still studying.
a day of rest for me.. tml got to start studying bit by bit for the last one on 20th! =)
the last few papers was.. all i can say is... i did my best, and honestly, i kind of let go already..
so whether i make it through or not, i guess i will just accept whatever outcome it is.
Of course! I hope I pass all of them.
everyone is having their last exam, bla bla bla.. graduation ceremony... and everything..
i am the only one left. ok maybe not exactly the only one left...
but in a way.. yeahs.. so i hope i graduate fast too!
i cant wait to get out from this boring life.
and then.. tada! i am happy to hear about the news.
Its another big step forward! a really big one! it concerns the rest of your life! well, i guess they must have been really sure about their decision, that's why they chose to move on to take that step. its not easy to have come to that step.
whatever it is, love each other, respect each other, tolerate each other & trust each other.
I wish you both all the best wishes! =)
better treat her nice! =))
and! i am going home soon! yay! yay! yay!
i wana complain.. im getting sick of staying here...
because of the cockroaches.. and all the unhygienic habits..
i hope i have my own house soon!
but oh wells!
and then..
thank you boyfriend, for sending me for exam, all the way at expo and waited for me... just because u know i am not feeling well bcuz of the monthly period!
that is why i still cant let go. because u still care for me.
thank you.
and i am happy! i met ade girl on tuesday!
the ride back to batok from bedok!
i miss talking to you ade girl!
next...
looking forward to
20th May -- last paper!
21st May -- meet Heups for whatever he said he wana give me!
27th May -- Home Sweet Home!
and in between!
meet ups with dear girl! must meet before i go back. promise! i'll go find u if u don't find me..
I'll be thick skin for once and appear at your door step! =p
alright!
good night world!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME :)
I had one of the simplest yet memorable birthday ever.
Thank you so much to Mad for tavelling all the way from AMK just to ring me the puffs, soya milk and had lunch with me and Heup. :)
Thanks to Stan's family, especially uncle, I really don't know if stan reminded them or what. Whatever it is, thanks for buying me a bday cake and hvg sakae dinner with me together with the family. I never expect it. Thank you :)
lastly, thank you to all the people who remembered. Thanks for the wishes. Thank you for making me feel loved and letting me know that I still have my close friends here with me. I am grateful for having known this small bunch of u. Thank you for doing these things which appears to be nothing but in actual fact they really made a huge impact on me.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Happy Birthday to me:)
may all my wishes come true:)
let me pass all my exams with flying colours:)
I'll be lighting up my "23" birthday candles today when I sleep:)
a new me, a new 23 year old Lily.
I'll be stronger, wiser & I'll love myself more. Be a nice & sincere girl to all the people around me.
And lastly, thank God for today:)
Thank you so much to Mad for tavelling all the way from AMK just to ring me the puffs, soya milk and had lunch with me and Heup. :)
Thanks to Stan's family, especially uncle, I really don't know if stan reminded them or what. Whatever it is, thanks for buying me a bday cake and hvg sakae dinner with me together with the family. I never expect it. Thank you :)
lastly, thank you to all the people who remembered. Thanks for the wishes. Thank you for making me feel loved and letting me know that I still have my close friends here with me. I am grateful for having known this small bunch of u. Thank you for doing these things which appears to be nothing but in actual fact they really made a huge impact on me.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Happy Birthday to me:)
may all my wishes come true:)
let me pass all my exams with flying colours:)
I'll be lighting up my "23" birthday candles today when I sleep:)
a new me, a new 23 year old Lily.
I'll be stronger, wiser & I'll love myself more. Be a nice & sincere girl to all the people around me.
And lastly, thank God for today:)
Thursday, April 29, 2010
argh! as the day draws near, im getting more and more nervous.
the good thing is, it means it will all end soon.
and then, when people ask me qns they dun understand, i can explain and do it for them and make them understand.
so that should mean i also know my work right?
bad thing, and i really dont want it to happen.
i really am scared of having cold hands and feet again on the exam day itself and make all the memory go "POOF"
seriously. argh!
enough browsing on FB, it never do me any good.
makes me more sad.
haha.
oh wells, shall go back to studying then.
have a great weekend! great coming holidays to everyone! =)
and nope, monday is not my birthday! neither is it my 2nd year in being together with stanley.
oh wells, haha. LAUGH.
its TWO years already. What have i been doing with him.
LOL.
hope everything brightens up. hope everything goes well.
my exam, it had better go well.
as much as i dont agree that, that piece of paper means everything, i also believe that without that piece of paper my future as an independent woman is well gone too.
so no mater what, got to get that piece of paper. by all means.
God Bless me & all taking the exam. =)
and many many big thanks to Heups!
maybe its really silly as to why I am so happy. But really thanks my jie mei! =)
thanks for planning to want to meet me on monday so that you can give me whatever you wana give me. cuz that means you remember that monday is my birthday and you already planned sth for me. Thanks YOU!
it really means a lot to me!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I will meet you right after my exam okays!!! its been too long since i last seen or talk to you!!!
still thank you! thank you! Thank you! =)))
i am still the same old t-shirt and jeans girl, Lily. nothing is changed. I am still me.
oh ya! i designed this, for my Dad's bakery shop brochure. haha!
My brother was super surprised.
he said, when he received this pic, he was like "WOW!"
he couldn't believe i could come out with that. and its a waste that i didnt go on to pursue my designing ambition.
haha. okay. over-rated. exaggerated.
Now.
BACK TO BOOKS. =D
the good thing is, it means it will all end soon.
and then, when people ask me qns they dun understand, i can explain and do it for them and make them understand.
so that should mean i also know my work right?
bad thing, and i really dont want it to happen.
i really am scared of having cold hands and feet again on the exam day itself and make all the memory go "POOF"
seriously. argh!
enough browsing on FB, it never do me any good.
makes me more sad.
haha.
oh wells, shall go back to studying then.
have a great weekend! great coming holidays to everyone! =)
and nope, monday is not my birthday! neither is it my 2nd year in being together with stanley.
oh wells, haha. LAUGH.
its TWO years already. What have i been doing with him.
LOL.
hope everything brightens up. hope everything goes well.
my exam, it had better go well.
as much as i dont agree that, that piece of paper means everything, i also believe that without that piece of paper my future as an independent woman is well gone too.
so no mater what, got to get that piece of paper. by all means.
God Bless me & all taking the exam. =)
and many many big thanks to Heups!
maybe its really silly as to why I am so happy. But really thanks my jie mei! =)
thanks for planning to want to meet me on monday so that you can give me whatever you wana give me. cuz that means you remember that monday is my birthday and you already planned sth for me. Thanks YOU!
it really means a lot to me!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I will meet you right after my exam okays!!! its been too long since i last seen or talk to you!!!
still thank you! thank you! Thank you! =)))
i am still the same old t-shirt and jeans girl, Lily. nothing is changed. I am still me.
oh ya! i designed this, for my Dad's bakery shop brochure. haha!
simple and to the point. =)
My brother was super surprised.
he said, when he received this pic, he was like "WOW!"
he couldn't believe i could come out with that. and its a waste that i didnt go on to pursue my designing ambition.
haha. okay. over-rated. exaggerated.
Now.
BACK TO BOOKS. =D
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
so i talked to mom for 40 minutes just now using Skype! =)
technology kind of save me quite a bit of money.
Dad's buddy bought my 2nd brother a Blackberry 9700. the new one.
haha. ok lah i am envious, cuz that is actually what i wanted compared to iphone.
but now that i've gotten use to using iphone. i am fine with using iphone now. they are of almost the same price anyways.
but its not about the price. haha. e and my brother are of the same type of people. if people buy for us, then okay lor.. we will use it.. we are grateful.. but even if we dun have it, we are fine with using the "can receive call, can receive sms" phone. =)
and.. uncle's son actually said that studying in singapore is damn easy. he meant. its really easy to study in singapore. I really dont knwo how he got into that conclusion. is it because he is doing his Masters? thats why he find it easy?
bcuz to me and many of my friends, studying in singapore is stressful and difficult. =(
I want my dreams to be realised.
The dream about flying. partly its the pay! next is I GET TO TRAVEL. =)
oh well, now.. better concentrate on the 5 modules first and believe that i can do it.
I need to work on that.
=)
technology kind of save me quite a bit of money.
Dad's buddy bought my 2nd brother a Blackberry 9700. the new one.
haha. ok lah i am envious, cuz that is actually what i wanted compared to iphone.
but now that i've gotten use to using iphone. i am fine with using iphone now. they are of almost the same price anyways.
but its not about the price. haha. e and my brother are of the same type of people. if people buy for us, then okay lor.. we will use it.. we are grateful.. but even if we dun have it, we are fine with using the "can receive call, can receive sms" phone. =)
and.. uncle's son actually said that studying in singapore is damn easy. he meant. its really easy to study in singapore. I really dont knwo how he got into that conclusion. is it because he is doing his Masters? thats why he find it easy?
bcuz to me and many of my friends, studying in singapore is stressful and difficult. =(
I want my dreams to be realised.
The dream about flying. partly its the pay! next is I GET TO TRAVEL. =)
oh well, now.. better concentrate on the 5 modules first and believe that i can do it.
I need to work on that.
=)
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Hahah.. I've been really rebelious these past one week and still so till now.. Lol..
I used to be one looking for stan and smsing him every morning every night. Now, I'm no more so! And I am so proud of myself! I am able to do it!
Not that it's sth very li hai or what! But really now I no longer find him nor SMS him unless he do so first. I don't SMS him in d morning anymore.. At night I'll just sleep n of my phone without informing him or saying gd night to him.
I know this is not healthy but I am actually really preparing myself to leave him. Sounds silly right. But yah I am distancing myself. Today is wednesday. I havent seen him since Saturday night. Supposed to go meet him for lunch or whatsoever the past few days but iturned them all down. I just have my reason. Bcuz it's either I just wana stay longer in school to study or I m just lazy thinking about hvgto go home later after meeting him by bus when I can just go home from school in also one straight bus. So y the hassle..
So yeaps! I am proud of myself. The thing about guys is really when u distance urself they just some how will be attracted to u. Believe it or not, they will automatically find u when u distance urself. When u r there with them, they just treat u like a dirt -_-"
I used to be one looking for stan and smsing him every morning every night. Now, I'm no more so! And I am so proud of myself! I am able to do it!
Not that it's sth very li hai or what! But really now I no longer find him nor SMS him unless he do so first. I don't SMS him in d morning anymore.. At night I'll just sleep n of my phone without informing him or saying gd night to him.
I know this is not healthy but I am actually really preparing myself to leave him. Sounds silly right. But yah I am distancing myself. Today is wednesday. I havent seen him since Saturday night. Supposed to go meet him for lunch or whatsoever the past few days but iturned them all down. I just have my reason. Bcuz it's either I just wana stay longer in school to study or I m just lazy thinking about hvgto go home later after meeting him by bus when I can just go home from school in also one straight bus. So y the hassle..
So yeaps! I am proud of myself. The thing about guys is really when u distance urself they just some how will be attracted to u. Believe it or not, they will automatically find u when u distance urself. When u r there with them, they just treat u like a dirt -_-"
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Real or just faking it?
I used to be a girl who believes in anything and everything people say..
But now I'm beginning to doubt what humans are saying to each other..
Often when I read ppl's blog..fb..twitter.. I can't help but ask myself this qns.. Are those real or not?
All the hugs! I miss you! I love u comments.. Which is written by people on almost every single day is abit.. I duno I can't help but to think that.. Are they saying it for the sake of saying it? Or Are they trying to prove something?
I really don't know.. Probably because I'm not anywhere like them, that I began to doubt their sincerity.. Because when I miss someone, I love someone.. I really mean it, because I feel that these "words" are "sacred" is sacred the word?! Duno la.. I know what I meant.. I just think that if u dun mean it don't say it... If u say too much of it, it'll become routine and just one of ur expression of words just like hi! And bye!
U get what I mean?!
It's just... Hmm.. Yeahhs.. I think I have typed what I wana type. No one is going to read anyway.. So it doesn't really matter if anyone understands or not.. Heh..
Have a happy saturday n sunday everyone!
Today's the eve of bestie bday! I hope she will be happy today and tomorrow N of course everyday. Yups. Enjoy urself girl! :)
happy advanced birthday! :)
But now I'm beginning to doubt what humans are saying to each other..
Often when I read ppl's blog..fb..twitter.. I can't help but ask myself this qns.. Are those real or not?
All the hugs! I miss you! I love u comments.. Which is written by people on almost every single day is abit.. I duno I can't help but to think that.. Are they saying it for the sake of saying it? Or Are they trying to prove something?
I really don't know.. Probably because I'm not anywhere like them, that I began to doubt their sincerity.. Because when I miss someone, I love someone.. I really mean it, because I feel that these "words" are "sacred" is sacred the word?! Duno la.. I know what I meant.. I just think that if u dun mean it don't say it... If u say too much of it, it'll become routine and just one of ur expression of words just like hi! And bye!
U get what I mean?!
It's just... Hmm.. Yeahhs.. I think I have typed what I wana type. No one is going to read anyway.. So it doesn't really matter if anyone understands or not.. Heh..
Have a happy saturday n sunday everyone!
Today's the eve of bestie bday! I hope she will be happy today and tomorrow N of course everyday. Yups. Enjoy urself girl! :)
happy advanced birthday! :)
Friday, March 26, 2010
finally realised.
I was browsing through fb. and then. suddenly i realised something.
I am not a fan of fb, I don't post comments on other people's wall, except for birthday comments. in short, i just don't frequent fb as much as others do.
while browsing...
it made me realize something, i should stop all the assumptions i have made to make myself feel better.
seriously.
I should stop thinking about..
1) I think I know, but in actual fact, I don't know a shit about what is going on EXACTLY.
2) I feel that they r important to me and i think they are really important to me and it goes the same way.
(but in actual fact, I am not even close to important to them, so I should stop being such a nuisance and go disturb them again and again.)
Everyone has moved on from that stage, currently, they have their own circle of friends and I shouldn't even try so hard to try to fit into that circle of friends. As long as they are happy, I should just extend my 祝福 to them.
sometimes, its really difficult to differentiate what is real and what is not.
Its really sometimes difficult to even think about whether all the things we have talked about together are real or not.
are u just trying to make me feel better?
then in the end letting me realize, all that you've said are opposite of what you've done.
all that we've talked about together are just bull. =(
I should have realized it last year around this time. I should have realised and come to my senses then.
that we have drifted apart and accept the fact that, the "belief" we have been trying to hold are just nonsense. =(
It's not easy reaching to this conclusion. but oh wells, i'm letting go.
U've found your happiness long time ago..
u've a lot of loved ones with you.
One less me will not cause any damage. will still be here when u need me =)
I wish you all the very best. =)
oh wells, have a great weekend everyone! =)
and!! i din get to meet ade this week! =(
and! i need to regain back my straight standing and sitting posture! I've been slouching so much lately! =(
and! i also need to lose some weights!
apparently, I didn't go to the gym last week and this week, because i think its a waste of money.. =S
i might just ask my friends who are staying in condos if i can just sneak in into their condo gyms and do my work out. :D
and! I need to get back to studying now. friday, saturday, sunday! supposedly playing and have fun days have turned into a stay home days! =(
and! i need to regain back my straight standing and sitting posture! I've been slouching so much lately! =(
and! i also need to lose some weights!
apparently, I didn't go to the gym last week and this week, because i think its a waste of money.. =S
i might just ask my friends who are staying in condos if i can just sneak in into their condo gyms and do my work out. :D
and! I need to get back to studying now. friday, saturday, sunday! supposedly playing and have fun days have turned into a stay home days! =(
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Sunday 42 more days!
I meet up with Ahmir on Friday night for dinner and we talked! :) I miss her! Yes we may not be the best of friends but I really treasure and admire her alot:)) thanks for meeting me up dear girl! I wish u all d best too!
She said I look very stressed up and tired! :( a lot of people have been saying that. Yes I m I m really feeling v stressed up n tired! And all that has been happening is not helping to decrease the stress level.. :(
but meeting up with dear friends do help! I love them so so much! :) next week! I'll meet up with Ade girl! I just need to arrange a time! :)
I have 42 more days to my birthday! Haha! Yeah! I just realised d counting down thgy I did on my wall was counting down to my birthday! Hahaha! But my first paper is 2 days after my bday! So it doesn't really matter.. :p
I did something wrong yst! I was pissed off by my Dad and expressed it in a rather unhappy toned SMS! :( then I woke up feeling guilty! :( well yeah.. I did wrong! Sorry Dad!
I m still happy I got my license ald! But I realised it's no big deal now..
Then I m still happy for my dearest silly girl! U see la, now its all postponed! But nvm! Just. A few hours more they'll be here! :) I m feeling excited! I hope u r too! I really m admitting that he is really nice! I hope he remains nice always! :))
I may not have seen him but I'm ald saying how nice he is! Haha! So he had better be really nice! :D don't disappoint us!! :)
alright! Sunday is studying day! Have a great Sunday everyone! :))
no flaws doesn't mean perfection;
flaws doesn't mean imperfection!
She said I look very stressed up and tired! :( a lot of people have been saying that. Yes I m I m really feeling v stressed up n tired! And all that has been happening is not helping to decrease the stress level.. :(
but meeting up with dear friends do help! I love them so so much! :) next week! I'll meet up with Ade girl! I just need to arrange a time! :)
I have 42 more days to my birthday! Haha! Yeah! I just realised d counting down thgy I did on my wall was counting down to my birthday! Hahaha! But my first paper is 2 days after my bday! So it doesn't really matter.. :p
I did something wrong yst! I was pissed off by my Dad and expressed it in a rather unhappy toned SMS! :( then I woke up feeling guilty! :( well yeah.. I did wrong! Sorry Dad!
I m still happy I got my license ald! But I realised it's no big deal now..
Then I m still happy for my dearest silly girl! U see la, now its all postponed! But nvm! Just. A few hours more they'll be here! :) I m feeling excited! I hope u r too! I really m admitting that he is really nice! I hope he remains nice always! :))
I may not have seen him but I'm ald saying how nice he is! Haha! So he had better be really nice! :D don't disappoint us!! :)
alright! Sunday is studying day! Have a great Sunday everyone! :))
no flaws doesn't mean perfection;
flaws doesn't mean imperfection!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
perfect weather! perfect day! =)
I GOT MY DRIVING LICENSE!
TODAY! =)
1stly!
Thank you God for blessing me today! I am now believing in You and believing in myself.
I'm glad my prayers was heard! Thanks! =)
I'll try to be more devoted by praying more. =)
next..
Thank you all for those who wished me good luck!
Im glad i didn't disappoint you all!
really! the first thing i was worried about is disappointing people who believed in me!
but! phew~~ I got it already!
Thanks to Stan for waiting for me through out my whole driving practise and the whole practical test today! =)))
Thanks thanks all for all the good luck wishes! =)
next! 5 more papers to go!
=)
I'll pass them all too! =))
Jia you to me! =)
TODAY! =)
1stly!
Thank you God for blessing me today! I am now believing in You and believing in myself.
I'm glad my prayers was heard! Thanks! =)
I'll try to be more devoted by praying more. =)
next..
Thank you all for those who wished me good luck!
Im glad i didn't disappoint you all!
really! the first thing i was worried about is disappointing people who believed in me!
but! phew~~ I got it already!
Thanks to Stan for waiting for me through out my whole driving practise and the whole practical test today! =)))
Thanks thanks all for all the good luck wishes! =)
next! 5 more papers to go!
=)
I'll pass them all too! =))
Jia you to me! =)
Monday, March 15, 2010
Ok! I've been posting a lot. I just needed to spit it out! :)
I've always wanted to move into a small island or a peaceful and quiet place and build my own family there! Of course when I've settled down I would have my whole family come over! :) so according to Elson, New Zealand is the place suitable for mr to lead my simple and peaceful life! And I think I've heard about it before do now I wana go into NZ!
Then I realised instead of hvg to rely on finding a rich hubby! Strike toto lottery 4d or anythg of the sort! It's better if I depend on myself! :D so first and foremost what I must fo is.. Get my freaking degree first! Then.. Find myself a job! Then hopefully I can get transfered there or I can just straightaway get a job there and start my so called plan to moving over!
Or rather better still if i could have a few try outs at a few places and see which place is the best place for me :)
sounds good? I finally found my purpose in life! At 22yrs 10 mths and 11 days old! But at least I found this purpose before I m 23!
Alright nothing is too late!
So yah! I've always wanted to faster get my degree to show the adults! But now I'm doing it for myself! It founds slot better and it makes more sense and motivates me more! So yeaps!!! Go all the way! :)))
have a great week ahead! :)
I've always wanted to move into a small island or a peaceful and quiet place and build my own family there! Of course when I've settled down I would have my whole family come over! :) so according to Elson, New Zealand is the place suitable for mr to lead my simple and peaceful life! And I think I've heard about it before do now I wana go into NZ!
Then I realised instead of hvg to rely on finding a rich hubby! Strike toto lottery 4d or anythg of the sort! It's better if I depend on myself! :D so first and foremost what I must fo is.. Get my freaking degree first! Then.. Find myself a job! Then hopefully I can get transfered there or I can just straightaway get a job there and start my so called plan to moving over!
Or rather better still if i could have a few try outs at a few places and see which place is the best place for me :)
sounds good? I finally found my purpose in life! At 22yrs 10 mths and 11 days old! But at least I found this purpose before I m 23!
Alright nothing is too late!
So yah! I've always wanted to faster get my degree to show the adults! But now I'm doing it for myself! It founds slot better and it makes more sense and motivates me more! So yeaps!!! Go all the way! :)))
have a great week ahead! :)