I want to live happily.
there is really nothing wrong with whatever I am doing now.
I am just trying to make myself happier through shopping.
shopping really makes me happier. =))


Even when i don't have enough cash.
I am really willing to scrimp and save.
I am willing to forgo all my meals. SO that i can use the money in exchange to buy the things i like.
BUT don't worry.
I do eat when i feel hungry. =))


It's next week.
will really start next week.
Still in the midst of preparation.
I will make sure, I tell myself that I am well prepared. =)


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Last week has been a crazy week.
cried a lot, slept little, studied a lot, stressed a lot!
AND
I almost turn single.
Oh wells, shall not talk about it, what's important is the upcoming exam now.


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I don't give a shit about anything else now.
Shall secure my own future.
I realise I really can't rely on ANYONE.
NO ONE except MYSELF.
All the talks about getting an able husband, is still there..
BUT..
I shall depend on myself also.
I still despise guys who use their woman's money, guys who hurt their woman, in whatever ways. I still do, up till now.
That's why I hope and I want my man will be more able and definitely better than me.
I mean, it'll TOTALLY turn me off.
If my man, turn to me and say...
"I don't have any/enough money, do you have any?"
I know i very lao tu. because, its all the talks about Men n Women being equal.
BUT seriously, man/men... please.. haha..
IF u can't even support yourself, then don't get attached.
I don't mean that, you need to pay 1000% of the time, once in a while asking your girl to pay isn't too much. BUT if 10 to 20% of the time u ask your girl to pay, then u should reflect if you deserve to have the girl's time or not.
haha. reflect.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I digressed so much.
Haha.
I believe my close friends, or should I say my darlings don't JUDGE me.
Because, they know me, they understand what I am doing, what I think and all.
If they don't i believe they will ask.
Just like, I don't judge them, I trust them.
So, if you judge me, then please don't think of yourself as anyone who is close to me.
Cuz u r not. and so don't act as if you know me inside out, you know what i am doing and all.
I really wouldn't mind my friends, I really mean friends.
coming to me to tell me off, or warn me about things i am doing.
I will really thank you. Because, real friends won't let you carry on doing the wrong things.
So I pretty thank my close friends who had come to me and tell me off.
( OF COURSE only when they know I am going the wrong way. =))) )


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& I miss home!
I miss my HOME!
BUT I really wana go holidays 1st before going back home..
HMMMMM..
POSSIBLE..?


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OH yah! I am turning 22 in a few hours time.
HAHA. NOT celebrating my birthday this year.
I'll be happy if my dear friends remember. =))
What should i get for myself this year??
I shall ask Mom & Dad for a shopping treat. HAHA! =D


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HAVE A GREAT & LONG WEEKEND MY DEAR DARLINGS.
JIA YOU FOR THOSE PREPARING FOR EXAMS.
&
I HOPE MY FEW DARLING FRIENDS ARE DOING GREAT AND DOING GOOD!
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! =)))
LOVE U GUYS A BUNCH!

Phone will be OFF from today onwards.
If u need me, then drop me a mail.

you've told me many times, so many times that it really sink deep in me now.
and now, i can't get it out of my head nor my mind.
i guess, certain things when you let go of it.
things will turn out better.

Im tired. tired. tired. =(
I hope this week will soon be over. then i can finallly really. get out from all the distractions and sit down to eat my notes. i need to. i need to. im so scared ald. really scared and very scared! =(


went to catch SNIPER after cousin in law's party yesterday!
It's quite nice~ quite cool~ as always my Edison is forever so handsome. =D


went to get Meideling pressie just now! (shopping alone, aren't that bad actually. haha.)
Got the the Lacoste bag I want. haha!
her birthday but i buy her the bag that i so really love! =x
because i'm very sure she will like it also. =D
but i didn't get one for myself though. lol.
can't buy. cuz i need to save money to buy something else. =(
there is an Adidas sale at Wisma Isetan also! I am so tempted to buy the bag n jacket! but then I didn't buy la. like i said, i need to save money. =/
Then, i went to Stadium at Taka to check if the Lecoq bag i want still there or not. BUT it turned out that. It's not available anymore. SADDED~~
oh wells, i promise, i will be granted to go on a shopping spree after exams. HAHAHA.


ok now.. lets see how my hand "healing" is progressing...




i hope by the colour change. it shows that it is healing.
and i do hope that, the affected skin will peel off and the new skin will grow and i will get back my beautiful hand. =D

i hate it when u accuse me of things that i never ever felt like doing.
don't force your assumptions into me.
i've never thought THAT way before.
In fact I am feeling the exact opposite of what you accused me of.
Hmphs~

I had a VERY bad day yesterday. right from the moment i wake up till the end of the day. =(
I shan't type and complain what i did yesterday.
but the only one still etched in my mind right now is the scar* on my hand!




It's the result of ironing my 7/8 halfly dried clothes because the weather is trying to play with me.
the moment it started raining. i took in my laundry, so i thought since they are half dried, i shall iron them so that they won't smell. while ironing halfway, i didn't notice the iron just right beside me. and THERE GOES MY HAND.
and as though that wasn't bad enough. after ironing for a little while, the sun came out!
I was like.. ok fine..~~
right then at that moment. i really so badly, want my maids with me.
to do my laundry.
to iron my clothes.
to clean my room.
to prepare my food.
do everything for me.
ok lah. i just want my nanny.


ok. so now i sound very pampered.
neverminds.


up till now, i am still hoping that it won't leave a scar.
really.
i love my bony-scarless-fair hand to bits.
i really love them.
now this scar. just spoils everything.
anyone knows any way to get rid of this scar? please do tell me. i'll be grateful.


*

and as if this wasn't bad enough, at night while trying to test use the mobile broadband thgy..
i had to place the sim card in the wrong way and thus causing the sim card to be stuck in the slot.
and i reproach myself the whole night.
cuz yesterday just wasn't the day for me.
all the way since i wake up..
to school..
to home..
to ironing my own hand..
to driving..
and testing the mobile broadband.. :(


*

I just hope today will be better.
and yes!
I guess, this morning everything has turned pretty better.
I successfully took out the sim card from the slot already.
and I do hope that my hand is healing. =)


okays~
today will be a better day. =))
i'll revise well
and
everything will be Great! =))


Have a great day people! =)

why must they wait until accidents happen then take the necessary action...?
why..?
HUMANS.
when it already happen, then do this and that. will that help..?
NO.


plain nonsense.
now, we can actually die from consuming our favourite food.
LOL.
how great is that.

sometimes its really not very easy to get through this.
but i know, i need to.
ha.
this is my life.
many times, i feel like giving up and doing things which i really like and love.
instead of sitting down here. still stuck to studying. :(
I don't know when it started, but as i grew up..
I grew to hate studying more and more.
especially looking at the tonnes of memorising work to do! =(


oh wells.
i know all these will end somehow.
at least i tried.


maybe, instead of asking an infinite number of WHYS,
we should just move on.
i know this is stupid and really nonsensical.
but i really cannot just sit down here and keep asking all the WHYS..
soon.
very soon. i'll realise and i'll understand my own question. :)


Jia you bahs!

received this fwd mail from cousin.. It's nice read it! =)


Y do we shout in Anger????
This one is a lovely mail and you should read it….. A good one too……..I am sure you will like it J.

A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?'

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.'

'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?'

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint.

Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'

Then the saint asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love?

They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...'

The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all.

That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

MORAL: When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.

Humans play with words, don't we?
we say one thing at one point in time and do another at another time.
it just proves, it really do prove, how we shouldn't.. or rather..
how I shouldn't trust all their words.
because it's just.. W O R D S..


I told myself, many times. not once, not twice, many many times.
It's ok, it's really OK. don't be such a petty girl. Just move on. If the other party doesn't even remember, so why should you. I always tell myself that they are not obliged to keep me as someone important in their lifes, even if I do keep them as someone very dear and important to me..
YES, this is how i always console myself, and it works everytime.
Being a part of your life was a bonus, not being remembered was what i never expect.
But, don't worry.. all is fine, i guess I'm already immune to it. :)


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AHA!
We got into that topic once again right!
I'M glad, this time you didn't ask me to find him faster.
You only told me to wait and see.
I'll wait and see. I will. I am curious as to what will happen to me in future.
I'm very excited actually. REALLY.
I am excited. I want to know more. I want to see more. And I really want to know everything.. of MY future! =)
I'm too greedy.
Oh wells, since I'm still here now.
I shall be practical and live my life now.. Instead of living my life in the future..


I can foresee that this week, will be a week of madness.
In fact, the following few weeks.. I guess, it'll be madness... hmm...
Give me more wisdom & determination.
I am determined to do well.
Jia You! :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SZE MIN GIRL! :)


Went for Min's 21st bday celebration yesterday! =)
Got to know a few new friends. nice. :)
and got to meet her friend whom i haven't seen for a very long time.
was quite surprised but not really surprised also. =/
am glad and happy that the both of them are getting along fine.
whether it is as friends, best friends, brother-sister or anything.
just don't do anything to hurt each other.
please continue to enjoy each others' companion.
please continue to be so. :))
Happy Birthday girl! =))


I had a very WEIRD dream yesterday! throughout the few hours of sleep.
My whole dream was about how the two of you met.. became friends.. what happened... and all the nitty gritty details i know.
Everything is just like an event happening in front of me.


I am happy to have met Min's family yst..
her Mom & Dad n her brother..
Been very long since i see them and talk to them..
I think the last time I see them was.. last year's Mother's day?
[can't rmb.. but i'm happy to see that they are very fine and healthy! =) ]
I feel glad that I am placed somewhere in their heart.
Thank you auntie for telling me that I can look for you all and seek for your help if I meet into any problem in SG since I am alone here.
Thank you =)
I really feel glad & happy! Thanks a lot! =))


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In the midst of all the celebration & happiness.
It's sad to find the uglier side of humans.
Its worst when u find that, you see them in those whom you thought are close to you.
really sad. oh wells. shall keep quiet. I'm just disappointed.
oh wells.. still..
have a great weekend! =)


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DEPEND ON YOURSELF! ; DON'T DEPEND ON OTHERS!

I really don't want to have anymore stomach pain. :'(
It's not those kind of normal stomach pain, when u need to go to the toilet.
It just hurts alot and caused me to perspire and vomit.
Vomitting is the last stage, after i vomit then i go sleep.. den hopefully, usually everything will be fine for the time being..
Initially i tot it's because of my period, but i realise it's not my period that's causing the pain.
It's something else and i don't know what.
Maybe there is a virus inside my stomach. it just loves to attack me as and when it feels like to.
I woke up early in the morning to find that my stomach freaking pain. :'(
Stan sent me a morning msg.. den I called him & i made him worried. =(
But it's really pain and i really don't know what to do, who to ask for help and how they can help me.. neither do i know, why is it pain in d 1st place. :(
I just feel very weak now.
But i still need to go for driving later on. PLEASE. no more stomach pain :'(

=)
went back to BBSS yesterday night for SJAB gathering! =)
most of us didn't change much! haha! everything is almost still the same with the exception that we've grown older! =((
oh wells... the whole uniform group changed by a real lot though!
shan't mention about it. too sian to meantion!


anw, it's great meeting the group of guys and girls again! laughed a lot! and had fun chit chattinG! =)))
see you guys soon! =))

hmm.. lets see. haha. i feel like gg shopping.

to get the le coq bag from stadium at taka. it's been on my mind since i first saw it! should have just bought it then! =x

i also want the longchamp tote! but its far too expensive to get it in sg and its not worth it at all! so shall put that aside first.

now. its more or less confirmed that i'm gg back home straight after exam in May. haha. i think i'm kind of bad. but since my bf don't mind not having me here for 3 months? then. yeahs. y not..? 3 months of holidays! haha! it's heaven! =D i'm gona learn baking! then shop shop shop again! =D

i just recently talk to Irene! my dear girl! she's my pri sch mate back in Jakarta! even though we don't keep in contact the past few years that i am here in sg.. BUT! we still rmb what we did back then! amazing right?! 2 ginas! remembered what they did when they are onli 7, 8 years old?

WE remembered! we used to have similar stuffs! everything! from hair accessories! pencils! bags! our mickey mouse ring! our school shoes! and many more! lol! i miss her alot! 

She told me she remembered how the both of us fell off the stairs together because she wanted me to play with her. honestly, i can't remember the part where i fell down. maybe i should go ask my Mommy! but anyway, she told me that, she regretted forcing me to play with her and caused me to fell. and she said luckily nothing happened to me.. otherwise she'll feel so bad! I feel bad now! because, i don't remember me falling now.. maybe because i always have this kind of small misfortunes like falling down blablala.. haha! so maybe i misssed the part where i fell down with her. =x

Anyways, 

initially, i thought, that this girl! with her status and happenings! i thought she has long forgotten about me! BUT NO! she remembered me! =)) I'm so glad! =D

and the shocking news she brought to me is! 

SHE IS GETTING MARRIED! 

most probably next year! 

and i am invited to her wedding!

I predicted she'll get married at ard 24-25.. BUT i didn't expect it to be next year!

Oh my! she's going to be a mother soon! yet! me, Lily! still here! struggling with uni!

and she's only a year older than me! oh my! she's getting married! I'm still quite surprised! =x

i'm glad that her hubby-to-be is quite wealthy, a business man! at least he is able to provide for her shopping needs, her manicure pedicure, can provide for the family and all! (as quoted from my dear girl herself!) this is so great right!

I'm so happy for her! she has found the man who is able to be there for her, go through thick n thin with her! provide for her! she has found her happiness! =)))

yesterday! she kept telling me that, she hope! we'll both stay at the same country together when we get married! now.. i'm wondering! when on earth will i get married! lol! when.. i can't even see anything now! not anything ok.. i can't even see the planning! 

anyway, she said, she hoped we'll both stay at the same country together! so that we can look after each other's child! we can be each other's child's God-mom! she say i can be her child's god-mom! hahah! can u believe it! we are at this stage now! talking about marriage and our children! 

Now, i'm all excited about her wedding!!! haha! =DD

I'm so going to fly back to attend her wedding! if...

it doesn't clash with my exam period next year! =D

Happy! =DD

and here's my all time favourite must have wedding song! =D

From This Moment by Shania Twain! =))

teach me how?

i really don't know what to do.

and all i can do is, sit down and sigh.

i really don't know how. 

besides escaping from reality, what else can we do?

there is a lot of memories kept within me which i will always remember.
i don't know when i will forget them. till now, i want to remember them, because, just thinking about them makes me smile :)
I still look at those presents and gifts people gave me during those days.
I still use them now.
It's a waste to ditch them into one corner. I still use them.
Those soft toys, whenever i go back home, I still take them out to hug them :)
I love soft toys, but Mom doesn't want me to play with them, cuz they collect dust. =/
so the only thing i can do is, take them out once in a while and look at them =)


those crazy secondary and JC days. i will always remember. very memorable indeed.
it's a waste that i don't keep in contact with those people anymore.
It's sad that we were once so close, now, we don't talk anymore.
but its alright, i know we have grown up and we are all busy with our own activities.
I wish all of you well. and i know, you all wish me well too. I do hope that, we can talk to each other soon. :)
Just want to let all of you know that, all of you are still in my heart.
I still treasure whatever all of you have done for me. :)

sian! i'm down with sore-throat, cough n slight flu for a few days now. =(
because of studying to much econs. haha.
lol. no la. it's because of the beautiful weather of morning HOT and mid evening RAIN. -_-''
I don't know why the weather is like that! =((
ah wells!
still in the midst of preparing and revising for the "fake exam" and the REAL one in May. =)


oh wells, take care people.
the weather is too good recently. =)

the ice-cream at sunset way is nice! Yum! yum! =D
I had the durian and lychee 1! and they tasted really great!
Go try go try! =))


have a great weekend yeahhs! =))

I've never seen a rainbow in my whole entire life and i missed it today!
I could have just looked out of the window and probably i can see it from here too. =((
i can only see it from the pictures now! =((


i hate myself a lot at this very moment.
if i could bang the wall and get amnesia, i would!
i am actually unhappy that the person whom i thought understand me.
actually don't at all.
what a joke.


if i could turn back the time, i swear, i will never ever have gotten myself into this shit.
it's giving me nothing, but unhappiness and disappointments after disappointments.
HAHA!
VERY GOOD LILY! WELL DONE!
i shouldn't have gotten myself into this.
but ending it now, isn't a choice nor is it an option.
i just have to continue with it. and see where it'll lead me into.
it hurts and it pains my heart now. ='(


still, at the end of the day.
I'll show and tell everyone that Lily is fine.

SO FAST! it's sunday already! =(

I've showered and all. 

now, starting engine to start studying again.

Shane inspired me sia! lol!

it's was one of the random days i went to read shane's blog. (i don't usually go read ppl's blog de. =x)

and i really got inspired! 

I mean really, if he can do it, so can I! =)

I believe I can, just like many others who think so too.

so i'll try. i'll try my very best. =)

so the next 2+ months.

i shall spend most of my time on revising my work. 

after that, want to play then play le. =)

Yeahs! and my Bf n his friends are safe in Msia! still enjoying themselves! GOOD! 

I'm happy for them. =))

called Mom n chatted with her for 1hr 40mins! haha! I realised i very long never call back le. =x but oh wells, anw, i'm glad everything back home is great. and Mom still insisted that, when I go back, that is, if i dont get a job here. when i go back. I have to, I HAVE TO learn baking. lol! I think she preparing me up so that, IF i can't get a job when i graduate. I shall be baking cakes at home. Good also! Imagine Lily! baking cakes! and decorating them! hahaha! I can't wait to see what i can do also le! =DD 

okoks... shall stop here! anw, the weather hasn't been good! take care yeahs! drink more water! =))

KKs. Have a great Sunday and the week ahead! =))

I'm gone to study again! Jia you Lily! Study! Study!