Monday, August 28, 2006

i shall learn 2 forgive n forget. after all hating a person will only put that person in my heart so i should forget n thus that person will be out of my mind, out of my life. =)


''Hatred is never appeased by hatred in this world. By non-hatred alone is hatred appeased. This is the law of Eternal.''


im feeling much better. i sure know how to console myself.. =p
thanks to all for the concern.. im touched!
i will not stay too long in sadness..


''.Tuhan tdk akan memberikan percobaan diatas kemampuan umatnya.''

gue bakal berdiri tegar. lebih baik jangan pernah nangis lagi. soalnya rada membencikan kalo nangis terus. gue sendiri yg bt. Tuhan, saya minta maaf atas semua kesalahan aku, semoga saya diberi kekuatan untuk manjalani semua ini. yep. gue tau gue bisa. sebenernya gue kadang rada males tulisin semua ini disini, soalnya mungkin yah ada yg bakal ngirain kalo gue tugh nulis semua ini cuman untuk cari perhatian. tapi gue bukan. yah semoga aja ada satu diantara mereka ngerti, kalo misalnya mereka salah paham gue juga ga tau mau bilang apa. yg penting ini blog gue, gue mau tulis apa terserah gue. n gue ga suka mainin perasaan org lain. jadi nga mungkin banget kalo gue tulis semua ini untuk cuman sekedar cariin perhatian. kurang kerjaan apa. tahun ini emank menyebelkan banget. ga da yg happi happi nya.. yg ada gue nangis mulu.. bego mann...
udah aahhhh... bobo!!! cape!!

JUST MY LUCK

I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WILL HE JUST BUZZ OFF N DIE?!?!?!?
AT LEAST GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LIFE!!!
OUT OF MY SIGHT!!!

OH!! DAMN!!!! IT'S JUST MY LUCK THAT I GOT TO HAVE HIM BE OUR ''SOMEONE-IN-CHARGE''... NOTE: I DON'T USE THE RESPECTABLE WORD ON him... he don't deserve my respect & i wont respect him... ALL GONE IN JUST A FEW SECONDS... OK this is obvious enough that i am talking about him.. i don't give it a damn anymore... the hurt he has inflicted on me is far off worst than this!!! don't ask me to go for counselling.. & don't ever try to counsell me into thinking that he loves us and he cares for us... stop that bullshit... its BULLSHIT.. it's CRAP!!! YEA!!! mayb he cares onli for the better n clever ones... the rest are just invicibles in his eyes.. he shouldnt have offered any help if he is not sincere about it!! he shouldnt play the good guy in front of his friends when he is not!!! he shouldnt........!!!!!!!!!


i'm just pouring out my feelings i can even use more vulgar words but i chose not to... because i don't want ppl to use vulgarities on me.. n i shant do that too... *i HATE ppl to use vulgarities on me ok!!!* (my mom teaches me not to be vulgar..mama!!! i need u so much!!! i miss uuu!!!!! i need a mother-daughter talk!!!!) i noe teachers and others DO read my blog.. please pardon me... u guys are not me.. u won't understand how i feel... It really sucks when u r already in the dump yet an inhuman being has to step on ur wound to make it worse. he shouldnt have offered a helping hand when he is not sincere about it & let go when he dont feel like helping anymore... HE SUCKS!!!!!! I HATE HIM TO THE CORE!!!!!!!!!!!


GOSH!!! i feel like crying!!!!!!!!!! damn!!!!!!!! i have NEVER been treated this way by ANYONE.. i've NEVER BEEN GIVEN UP BY ANYONE!!! NEVER!!!
*i'm so sorry.. but i reali feel like crying...*



let's talk abt sth else...
todae... a very friendly yet weird uncle sat beside me on the bus...
as in yeah! weird... was talking to me throughout the journey from woodlands till bt panjang... actualli i wanted some time alone.. to just enjoy the ride back home... but he kept talking... bleaghs... n in actual fact, i was kinda scared of him... so i was constantly praying in my heart... ok this sounds funny.. but i shud be wary of strangers right?? some more this uncle is far too friendly.. talking about his family n stuffs... & the onli 1 thg i rmb now is... he said:'' after jc... go overseas better.. singapore too stressful... see ya...'' ahem.. yea.. i onli rmb this... thank u uncle for talking to me... thank u for making me smile...


ok... enough sadness... NOW.. lets get to serious business...
I SERIUOSLY NEED HELP IN PHYSICS!!!! PLEASE HELP ME!!!! :'(


*i need my parents.. i miss them so much.. :'(*

Sunday, August 27, 2006

went out todae!! happy!! memorable...
FINALLY meet up with bestie!! todae.. tgt with her clique...
They are friendly ppl... thanks 4 willing to talk to me!! =) *smiles*
did lotsa catching up with bestie... =)
tho most of the time im d 1 talking.. this makes me seem like im soo talkative.. =p
but nvms... the impt thg is i enjoyed myself!!! =)


woots!! i realise d neoprints i took todae is soo far the 2nd nicest 1 of all.. is it bcuz of the great cost too?? tt's y the product also become so nice.. lols... but reali nice!!! =p thanks girls!!! =)


nice nice meeting with bestie!! =)


-treasure every moment as long as u r still breathing- =)

Saturday, August 26, 2006

hee! nice! its a saturday! =)
im meeting my bestie later on at 330...=)))
very lOng din mEet heR liaOs... Since i go back 4 June hOls.. =p
elSon: afteR a's i make time 4 u ok??!?! haha!
sOme1 asked me sth todae..


some1: Did u study everyday?
me: yea! Of cOursE!! iF i dUn studY a miNimal time of 5 hrs eACh day i will fEEl gUiltY..
sOme1: wah! i dUn evEN nOe if i sTudiEd 5 mins each day..
me: *faints*
(i duNo y.. when i type it here.. it's nOt tt fUnny anymore)


haha! i noe 5hrs is sooo sooo lITTLE too... will make full use of the time left to prepare well for a's... hOpe... i will do well! i nOE i caN... =)


mOre n mOre ppl are having suicidal thoughts due to stress... =X
cherish n treasure ur life ok?!?!
there are so many ppl out there who are trying very hard to remain alive yet there are people here who r trying to kill themselves.. so pppl... KICK ur suicidal thoughts away!!! =)
nothing is imposibble...
i noe life is tough... BUT... BRAVE d ride k??? =) ( im telling myself dis every single day!!! =p)

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Here's some goody news for the S71-ans..
Our dear teacher, Mr Sim, have boOked d chalet fOr Us...
so Chalet is ON after A's!!! *clap clap*
& Please PLEASE... pay the money asap k..
I promised him tt we will pay up by next week...
So Please PAY UP!!! Thanks!!!


i seriously can't wait for A's to be over..
Cuz i'll leave this place..
have loads of FUN in Jakarta.. my beloved HOME!!!
HAHA!!!
(tho i have no idea whats in store 4 me.. BUT i will enjoy!!)


homesickness is in me these few days!!! =(
-sadness-
it really sucks when u have to clean ur already "tidied" room after a tired & long day outside... when all u wanted is a nice n cozy bedroom when u get back... i noe im staying under others roof, BUT i reali cant stand it when my room is already tidied by ur maid yet i have to re-clean it just because the previous ppl have used my room 2 study... argh! cant u have the courtesy to clean it urself n not leave it for me... & cant u just study outside if u dun wana clean!!! stupid little bratS!!!! i noe its been long since i complain abt THEM... But i can no longer tolerate it... if i have to stay in sg again nx yr... i will try my best to stay out of this place n stay outside by myself... call me fussy or wat... BUT i want my place to be clean & tidy... CLEANLINESS PLEASE!!!


it's funny when everytime u clean my aircon, u ask me :''how come ur air con has no dust at all...??'' oh wells, i clean my room by myself evryday.. what do u expect? bleaghs... guess u shud do some self reflection...!!


most of my friends are changing their blog URL bcuz some unauthorized ppl are reading their blog n haha.. for all u noe they are gossiping behind ur back n make a joke out of it... n ya... i guess i shud take out most of the links...
oh wells, i DONT mind ppl reading this as long as they keep their MOUTH SHUT and not gossip behind my back.. LOL... oh wells, as if i will noe if they did.... anyway, entries in this blog isn't that personal.. so... HAHA! it doesnt matter... u can gossip for all i care... U can HATE me for all i care... 'Critisizing' me won't make u an inch better than me... =p & haha! if u r not happy with me, JUST say it STRAIGHT to my face... most likely i will give u a reply like... ''ORh!?!?! Do u think i CARE?!?!'' lalala... i sound so much like an AP girl.. lOL... mayb i am... BUT i dont think so... (what am i talkin abt) haha!


=life is just so unfair=
BUT it feels reali nice when u noe that ppl are on ur side... when ppl agrees with u.. cuz it shows that its not me... not just me.. not me unhappy with him bcuz of stupid reasons.. BUT its realli him who pisses ppl OFF!!! LOL!!! i din realise i dislike him TT much... *sigh* 1st ******* whom i dislike instead of showing my gratitude to him.. hahahs.. hmm...


*happiness* thanks to euu for always caring 4 me k? =D *smiles*


oh wells... have a nice day... nice night.. nice morning ppl!!!


a note for my dear ade: haha!! ah girl!! enjoy ur break n enjoy working!!! lol... im soo envious can!!!! take care girlll!!! =)

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Monday, August 21, 2006

我想有时候生活就是这么的不公平吧!
我们要得东西,有时真的没办法得到。。。
但我相信只要坚持下去总有一天我们的梦想一定会成真。。。
我想我们得对自己要有一点点的信心,相信自己能做到就一定行,一定会到达终点。。。
但偏偏我这个笨蛋就是对自己一点信心都没有。。。笨死了。。。
我好累,好累。。好怕没办法得到我想要的。。但不管怎样,直要努力就一定行了吧。。真的是这样吗???

so long din type using chinese le... ha... dun wori im fine ok.. i just feel like letting out some thgs.. haha.. use chinese type so slow... all my thoughts also GONE le... haha... but nvms.. i'll be fine..=)
i noe what is right and what is wrong.. which is not n which is not... so stop putting your worries on me alrite? i'll be fine... i will survive this...


i had a very weird dream yst... it's reali d 1st tym i ever dreamt of such thgs... i hope d dream is just some other silly dream with no significance at all.. i hope it has no significance at all.. yea.. =)


Hope my dearies are all doing well..
esp my dear parents & brothers..
not forgetting my bestie.. very long din c her n talk to her liaos.. =p...
hope ade is doing well too.. left 2 more days.. jia you girl!


kk gd nyt tm 2 slp..=)
it's funny when u c ur classmates talking abt their sec sch days when its onli 2 yrs ago.. they look like the 40 year old UNCLES sitting down sharing their "bootiful" memories.. haha! =X
i'm crossing my fingers and toes hoping tt Khai Siang din share anythg that he is NOT supposed to share abt me in my sec sch days... haha! *which group do i belong to??* haha.. i duno.. the thg is i noe is... im not alone... =p sec sch days.. haha... next yr we will be talking abt.. JC days.. =X JC will be HISTORY by then... =p & stupid ZUL!!! what is wrong with my voice...


time table is OUT... haha... OUT since long time ago la...
im so sorry for my foul mood todae... duno y la...


im gg 2 go on diet since ppl are saying im FAT... haha... so DIET n water... here i come!!! =p


sometimes certain thgs if u keep mentioning.. it gets stale and i get irritated.. the fact is... IT'S NOT even funny... not that i cant take jokes but.. haha.. certain thgs when u keep mentioning... its overused.. and it no longer has any entertainment value... find sth NEW pls... =p
Oh!!! yEA!! i am HAPPY!!! =)
cOmmUnicAte thRouGh SMS with my parEnTS juSst a whiLe agO.. an HR ago!! =p
NICE niCE!!! mama.. is down with tOOthache!! *OucH*
hOpe she will rEcover fRom it SoOn..
i sO lOvEy mY dAdDy & mOmmY..
mIsS thEm...=)


latER gOta gO scH!!!
sians...



ok... sian..
slp nOw...=X

Friday, August 18, 2006

d days are passing by very fast. left 75 more days to a's. im sort of scared. BUT i really want it to come faster so that i can get out of here faster... i think i've said this over n over again. *sians*


oh.. my saving plan foiled again.. bleaghs! so useless..


STUDY STUDY STUDY!!! I MUST CONCENTRATE & NOT PROCRASTINATE... STUDY... i know i can make it.. i noe i can... dun stress! dun stress!!! jia you!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

oK... so today's a WEDS.. end sch LATE... *sians* tired!!! hOpe i didnt screw up tt paper....
haha! i HOPE MR SIM will be able to finish marking that paper b4 our prelim 2... =p
Please mark finish ok??? =)


so yst... i finally know that teachers Do read my blog... even though there is no interesting content... =p but i guess, through our blogs teachers get to know us better?? Hope so... i am glad that most teachers are sensitive beings unlike SOME, whom i unfortunately have to be stucked with LAST yr... oh GOSH... i shall just resign 2 fate... since i'll be stuck with him 4 onli a few weeks more... HAHA! & OFF i go.. BYE BYE!!!


i SIMPLY hate it when i already took up the courage to ask question, only to get a reply.. "please move out now, my next class is coming!" Oh, hell! will it kill U just to spare a min of ur time to answer my doubts?? wat a NICE reply... how encouraging... nvm... i MUST bear with this shyt... i must be able to control my anger... & so i din flare up n end up swearing n cursing him after that... i still can smile =) & chat with friends!!! He IS NOT going to spoil my day!!!


hmm... n now i feel lyk communicating in bahasa indonesia...
Indonesiaku tersayang... semoga taun dpn gue bisa balik ke situ skoolll yah... semoga semuanya bakal nyetujuin... pengen banget balik ke situ skool... yah gimanapun gue bakal try to adapt sama surrounding disitu. Emank sih udh lama banget ga skul disitu & bahasa indo gue udah parah banget... tapi bisa belajar koq..
besok 17 agustus tugh!!! lagi mikir mau skul ga... haha! ato ke embassy santep makanan yg sedap!!! =p


trus... semoga banget gue nanti kalo balik indo bisa dapet kerjaan yg bagus... yg bisa dpt byk duit... SEMOGA banget!!! semoga Tuhan memberkati... =) semoga keluarga gue bisa keluar dari ini semua secepatnya... SEMOGA...


& ya... yst mr sim said d same thg to me... hmm.. since i cant do anythg to the problem i have now, i shud just concentrate on a's 1st... since a's is sth tt i MUST be able to handle.. so YEA!!! i MUST concentrate on studying...


& these few days i keep thinking abt MY future... haha... i hope i can buy a house n a car for myself asap... & of course earn some money to provide for my dear beloved parents... =)


just 2 state sth that i realli regretted doing..
1. why did i pester my parents to let me come to this place??
2. why did i even make d decision of coming to a JC & not appealing out when i landed in this sch... the worst sch i've ever been to??


i LOVE my parents!!! =)
i LOVE my family!!! =D
i MISS them too!!! =)

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

i have officially changed my number... so DONT contact me at the 9146 number le...
if i haven tell u my new number.. den ask me k...
normally i dun miss ppl's name out..
if i missed ur name... den.. haha! too bad... =X


i am happy todae after 8pm..
i duno y...
way lying down on my bed.. den was smiling away...
haha! dun ask me why...
bestie said... the reason is not impt... just keep smiling.. =)


i felt a great sense of achievement too...
cuz i SAT STILL for 3 hrs on my study table..
without any distractions k... =)


today in school...
i read a magazine... den read abt this "procrastinate" article..
lOl.. mayb it inspires me...
tt's y i sudd sooo hardworking..
at least more hardworking than usual...
i shouldnt procrastinate anymore...
and i should get things done before i really regret it..
yeap!!! STUDY STUDY!!! =)


now is sleeping time...
later go sch... den can concentrate... =p


im so missing home...

Saturday, August 12, 2006

OMG!!!!
i FINALLY GET TO WATCH A FULL FIREWORKS DISPLAY!!!!!!!
THEY ARE SUPER DUPER EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL!!!!! NICE!!!!


but todae.... i went to throw money into the sea again... haha.. went eat steamboat for d 2nd time in d week.. n in d end.. i ate onli a few pieces of meat... lol.. FEW ok.. reali onli a FEW... i think the boss of tt restaurant must love me alot... haha!


i've been realli spending money like nobodys business... up to date... till todae.. this month. i've spent almost $500... haha! so... from tml onwards.. i am going to reject all outings.. all lunches & dinners... anythg tt has gt to do with money money money!!! so DONT ask me to fork out any money until after prelim ok... better until after A's... haha! i will realli be very grateful... really grateful..... haha! plaese help me control my expenses... i hope i will have a bit of self-control too... haha!


todae.. sth weird happened... hmm.. also duno y... duno whether it is gd or bad.. but i just poured out everythg to my cousin... sians... i also duno y... its liek she is d 2nd.. n im not even close to her... ha.. n as usual... i *** as i talked... sians... stupid me! anw... i just hope tt i will reali focus focus focus... kick those stuffs outa my mind.. yeaps.. haha..


ok lerhs... im super tired... physicaly n mentally drained...


a note 4 zul: please dun onli memorise faiz number... haha! =X

Thursday, August 10, 2006

ha... i think i am bad girl... =X
always make mistakes, offend ppl without knowing it... =X
hmm... so i hereby apologise... =X


anw... i HOPE everythg will be fine...
hope he will change... hope we will change... =X
whoever is at fault.. everythg is over le.. =p


anyway..
i changed my handphone number le...
those who still duno... ask me k? =)


have a nice weekend!!! =D


--im soo dead--
-i will survive this tho-
-i know i will-
--jia you!--

Wednesday, August 9, 2006

haha!!!!!!! i am H A P P Y = HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL!!!
BIG THANKS 2 MY 2 DEAR FRENZIES!!! Adeline & Zhong Kai...
haha!!! NICE NICE... tho we were tired in d end...
todae reali nice k!!!


1. we got a VERY BIG room 4 ourselves at kbox!!!!
2. we went to have steamboat. ( tho most of d food is ade & zk eat 1..im sorry...=X)
3. i got to see the nice nice nice, my favourite fireworks!!! ( even tho i got to see them from a very far distance... but still get to see... so... im contented...)
4. we laughed a lot!!!
5. we had a gathering again!!! =)


thank you for making my day happier... think i haven laughed or smiled much since tt day!! thanks!!! =)
i'll try to free myself soon k... =)


oh ya... i actualli went K 2 days in a row... [ yst went with 2t & ying ] lol!!! not even 24hrs la... shiok! nice!
spent lotsa money!!! BUT i duno y i am happy spending them... =) but still gota be more thrifty... haha... i am happy!!! are u happy too? =)
i noe bestie is!!! haha! been long since i meet her.. haha.. hope this friday can meet!!! =)


haha! lets be happy people!!! lols... life is about living it to the fullest & living happily!!!


{ i noe if ANY teacher actualli read this, they will say "this girl, still go out. still dont want to study."
i shall give them a reply... " my dear teachers, its wrong to say that i dont want to study, it's good to give myself a break before d band snaps n i go crazy. it's a way to destress... i assure u tt i will make up 4 todae! & this is definitely not an excuse. watever i say, u teachers have your own way of thinking. i am just stating what i think." }
*no offence*


ok be happy! sleep, study and play!!! shop shop!!! nice nice!!! walk walk... enjoy urself!!! lols! now still must study!!! dont give up lily!!! haha! =)

=) =) =) =) =)

Monday, August 7, 2006

1stlly:
Must apologise 2 Madeleine... yea.. i am soo sorry tt i showed a stupid attitude towards u just now... SOrry!!! i know that whenevr i am in bad mood, anyone can just become my sandbag.. i am sorry...
actually... she... said i din offend her.. but still sorry girl.. n thx 4 being understanding.!!
i am sorry to JJ too... u misunderstood...


i love my dear brother EDI so so much! thank you brother! thanks for willing to be my another pillar of support! love you! it is really helpful!!! really helps a LOT!!! thanks for willing to put ur trust in me! really BIG thanks!! that testi made me SMILE!!! i will be ur pillar of support if u nid me too k!!! i'll prove that u r right!! i will try to have more confidence in myself!!! i will do my very best!!


i will pull myself together n work smarter... yea! i hope i wont laze ard anymore...
*a goal without any moves is nothing but a wish!* very true!!!
*if you think right then everything will be right!* very true too!!!


i know it is hard to understand me, but please try to.
i will try to be good & not throw my temper around.
i will try to be a good girl and not be a cry baby.
i will try to take things in my stride.
i will try to do my best & not look down on myself anymore.
i will pull my self up.


HOPE everyone who is in the dumps will be right up in the nice sweet smelling ground now... =b





Friday, August 4, 2006

YEAP!
TODAY is FRIDAY already... 89 mOre days to A's!!!
wahaha! im So lOokinG fORwArd 2 it k!!!
study all the way!!! study study!!! im starting to get serious...
Hope its not tOo laTe 2 staRt...
Zool say tt i very emo...dun sooo streSs...
ok now... i shall be happy! haha!
so Faiz wont poke me n ppl will say tt i am happy! *LOL*


i cant beliv tt my dear fren Beatrix actually went back 2 indo for good.. oh mann...
all d way to sg den to melb den now in indo university.. oH wells!!
hOpe i cAn gO baCk 2 IndO 2 cOntiNuE my UniverSitY stUdiEs too... =p
hOpe hOpe k? I'm ReaLli geTtinG sIcK of D EnvIrOnmEnt hEre... =b


i hOpe my deAr frienD Mirna dUn soOOooO stResS..
be haPpy k giRl!!!
i still lOvE d bUbblY fIshball!!! oOoOpSS! Mirna i mean!!! =X


hOpe Mad recover from watever illness she has nOw..=)


i hOpe i cAn lOve sChoOl a tEenny wEennnY biT more.. since i am left with OnlY vEerY veRry feW weeKs in Sch... *clap clap*
2t sAy tt she needS 2 bUllY me mOre cUz..
we R lefT witH only abt 5 weeKs as ClasSmaTes In claSs...
oh ya there is this "duNO wat survey" tt i did in SchOoL abT ur cOllege life abt OuR sch...
haha... i ThinK i am ToO hOnest... =D
"i like my school" === StrOnglY *agReeEEe*


Ok nOw i ShaLl bE OfF tO LILY's land!!! =D


I am hAppY!
i mUsT tRy 2b... laSt feW mOnthS in thIS belOved lanD... =X



i'm nOw crAvinG fOr:
1. sUshI
2. tiramisU
3. caKes
4. fIsh & cO
5. shOpPinG

Monday, July 31, 2006

ok.. i guess..
i shud pick myself up..
realli.. no use getting sad over it..
no use crying after listening to things that reminds me of it..(GP class todae)


Mr Sim said sth today, "delete things that u dont wish to have in your mind."
at first after hearing it..
i made a comment: "if it's THAT easy to take certain thgs off my mind, our life wouldnt be so unhappy." "how i wish i have a shut down button" ... Now, i guess i shud try to do so.. i guess he is right..
he made another comment about students today having "no SOUL" which i TOTALLY Agree!!! =X


how are we supposed to have our soul when all we do is study n study... having to live up to expectation and having to endure the STRESS..
bringing happiness to people brings happiness to your own self too...
so start doing your part in doing kindness... =D


next... i need and i have to apologise for my too "moody" & "bad" behaviour today..
not that i want it...
but i am just not in the mood...
expect this for the rest of the week..
mayb i need a week to really sort thgs out...
to really clear my mind off things... i realy need that..
i am so grateful and thankful that people cared...
really thanks loads...
all your simple messages n stuffs.. thanks!


TO my parents: i know they wont come n read this.. but wells, still.. dad & mom: i will try my best not to be a cry baby anymore... i will try and be strong and stop making you worry for me.. try my best to study hard n concentrate on it and it only.. i promise to try my very best to make you proud.. i love you! <3


TO my dearest brother in US: ko! i promise i will work hard n keep close to God. i know i'll never walk alone cause there are many people who are walking together with me in this journey including my loved ones. i wish you all the best over there. and hopefully, i can join you next year. thank you for keeping me in your prayers. i love you kor! <3


TO my relatives: I know you guys expect a lot from me... the pressure that you guys are putting on me are far more than what my parents gave me... but wells, i noe you guys wants the best for me too.. i will try my very best to live up to expectation.. yea... i will try to... thank you for everything...


To my friends: Thank you for being here... although i am alone in this foreign land. you guys never fail to make me feel that i am loved and that even though my family members are not here. i still have you guys who will stand by me no matter what. really thank you! thanks for puting the smile back on my face. Thanks!


Special thanks to these wonderful friends:
Mad: Hey girl! Thank you so so much for the card. I am really touched, i really din see it coming. The words are really encouraging. Really. Thank you! i will try to follow the words... =)
Ade: Sure after my A's i will DEFINITELY go parrty!! go celebrate with you!! thanks girl! =)
JY: thanks for the simple sms yea! hope u r doing fine too.
Bash: i will try to be fine ok? im not lying..=)
Liyana: thanks girl! i noe u will always be there for me. the fact that we arent that close (got to noe u thru ur sis), yet we care so much for each other really makes our friendship special.. Thanks! keep the smile on your face always too k? =)
Counsellor: thanks! although i dun noe who you are. i still really thank you for ur care n concern! wish you all the best! =)
Lisha: thanks for caring & concerning even though i duno you well.. thanks girl! =)


i cant promise that i will be fine tml.. cuz whenever i am reminded of the stuffs.. i still cry.. but not as bad as yesterday.. i hope i can pick myself up from the dumps as soon as possible... as soon as everyone wants it.. yea! i noe i can..


once again thank you and sorry guys!




Sunday, July 30, 2006

mom i am so sorrry..
i promised tt i wont cry anymore..
i hate this feeling..
i really do..
guess todae is the worst day of the year..
i haven been crying as much..
i cant control them..
i cant..
i duno what to do...
i know the elders meant well..
i am trying..
i really am..
mom is not pushing me so hard..
she asks me to just concentrate...
put other thgs off my mind..
just concentrate on studies..
she & the others will take care of the rest..
the truth sure hurt..
another bomb dropped on me this morning...
as usual..
i cant stop it from coming..
i just lock myself up..
sit down n cry..
crying is all that i can do..
how useless..


its so not me to type out so much personal stuffs..
usually all these just got stored in my diary..
but this time..
i am allowing myself to type all this out..
hoping someone will understand..
but i know no one will..
cuz even I, me, myself..
i duno which problem causes my crying..
mayb all the problems got into 1..
and explode just like that..
without allowing me to make some preparation..


I am really grateful that at the time when my aunt called..
i was talking to my brother who is in US on mSn..
i duno wat would have happen to me if he is not talking to me then..
as promised mom called me todae...
as much as i dun wana cry..
i cried as soon i say out my first "hello" in weeks..


i hope i would just stop crying..
i wish i could hang on until everything is over..
i know He is watching over us and we can just leave all of this to Him..
i'll try my best to be strong, i know i can place my trust in You..
Please just let me hang on..


Thanks to my dearest family.. All of you..
Thanks to my dearest brother.. i'll remember what you told me yst.. all d best 2u too..
Thanks to Jun Yan, Mad, Ade, counsellor (whoever u r) & Lisha..
yea thanks...
i guess i will be fine..
no worries..
thanks..